Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by jatzstoned, Jun 16, 2005.
yea any tips on how to throw a small but decent party with a lot of vodka and no alchohol poisoning?
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perfect party is an ever-elusive event;
occurring almost as infrequently as the aligning
of the planets or the passing of the Millennium.
Unbalanced girl/guy ratio, keg congestion, and
cops are but a few of the hurdles one must
overcome to achieve the title of a
"phat" party. It's amazing that college
students will spend hours studying the
unimportant topics of physics, economics, and
law but fail to spend more than a few moments
preparing for one of mans greatest social
achievements; the house party. Fortunately for
you, we here at QC, have commissioned a study
from the most degenerate party-goers of our
time, and their report, in it's entirety is
presented before you today!
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- Plan for three
<td height="514" width="100%">Yep
that's right. Every party is actually 3 parties
in disguise; with each element requiring special
planning and unique consideration. The three
unique parts of the party are as follows.
The Pre-Party: This is the small circle
of friends who gather to get faded before the
rest of the party arrives. It is wise to save
your best beer for the pre-party since you'll be
too drunk at the other parties to care. Girls
will usually pull out a blender and make mixed
drinks and pose for snapshots in their hootchie
outfits and guys will play dominos or watch
Sports Center. Pre-parties usually begin in the
early evening and go until 10:00 PM.
The Party: This part is the so-called
"real" party; after the pre-party but
before the post-party. The party usually begins
after 10 and last until 2. This is the longest
part of the party but is ultimately the least
important. Think of it as the pre-party for the
The Post-Party: This is the actual
"real" party; the time after the cops
have come and everybody has gone home except for
friends and recently acquired hook-up prospects.
During the post-party the "secret" keg
is revealed and the party continues on a smaller
more personal scale. Ninety five percent of
hooking up occurs in the post-party. The post
party begins at 2 or 3 in the morning and
continues until the last man falls down in his
own putrid vomit. Sometimes a trip to Taco Bell
signals the start of the post-party.
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- The Alcohol</font></td>
<td height="337" width="100%">Alcohol
is the quintessential party favor and ALL great
parties are runneth over with it in some form or
another. Whether it's brewed from potatoes,
wheat, sugarcane, or cactus alcohol is the least
common denominator for party success. After all,
what other substance makes us invulnerable to
criticism, enhances the appearance of women and
men alike, and provides us with the unthinkable
courage to brazenly flaunt our own
greatness.� Divide your alcohol into the
following categories and make sure you have
twice enough as you expect to use. Having too
much booze is a thousand times better than not
Beer: Plenty of beer is key. Plan on 1
keg per 20 people. Kegs need not be filled with
expensive beer because no-one will actually care
for more than half an hour. The key to kegs is
location and availability of re-enforcement
kegs. Poor supply chain management will cause
your party to suck and people will leave.
Shots: Shots are the fast, easy way to
get faded and every good party has tons of them.
Plus, shots are social and people like to do
them together; thus even the wallflowers in the
corner are enticed to join the festivities. Body
shots, requiring salt and lime, are a great
ice-breaker when trying to schmooze up to a
Mixed Drinks: Were there only guys at
your party mixed drinks would have never been
invented. Alas, women throw and attend parties
and must be made to feel included as well.�
Rum and cokes, screwdrivers, and the
ever-popular Red Bull Vodka are good ones to
have. These are also handy to chase the shots
you just took.
Novelties: Jello shots and watermelon
soaked vodka are always a hit. For some reason
men and women alike will eat and drink these
until they pass out cold.
<td height="20" width="100%">-
<td height="20" width="100%">Music
is the pulse of your party and without it people
are forced to speak and communicate. Remember,
no one actually likes speaking to strangers and
music will cover up the awkward silence that
follows almost everything you say. Should you
ever find yourself with nothing to say you can
just shut your eyes and move your head. Whoever
you are talking too will assume you're too faded
to function and quickly walk away. Music can
also enhance your drunkenness, especially if
it's 80's music. Also, when there's music
there's always dancing. Usually a group of
chicks will start dancing by themselves to get
the dance floor going. No guy actually likes
dancing but since that's what girls do guys are
forced to follow suit. Since you can dance with
people without ever speaking to them dancing
will greatly increase the hook up ratio of your
party and cause people to remember it with
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<td height="20" width="100%">Ultimately,
the success of your party is going to be
determined by the people who come to it. An
equal amount of girls and guys is the ideal, yet
unattainable goal. No matter how many girls you
invite and no matter how many guys you dis-invite,
you will always end up with more guys at your
party than girls. This is one of the greatest
mysteries of college life. Furthermore, goofy
looking kids who don't drink are not allowed in
since they occupy valuable airspace that could
be preserved for a alcohol-consuming guest. Fun,
crazy girls are the focal points of all college
parties and you should make it your goal to have
as many of them as you can. Guys love them and
chicks study them. Your fun, crazy chicks should
be hot, but most of the time their scandalous
behavior will please regardless of how hot they
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<td height="20" width="100%">All
good parties result in at least one police
visit. It is one of the things you just have to
sack up and deal with. Theres no way around it.
The best way to avoid this of course is to tell,
or better yet invite, your neighbors to your
party. Inviting the older neighbors shows your
friends that you're cultured and well rounded,
and it allows these post-college guests to get
nostalgic about their own drunken days of
yesteryear. Should the police roll through be
aware of your rights and don't be afraid to
stand your ground. Send out your smoothest
talking friend and deputize him with all powers
of negotiation. Any ticket is immediately
divided between the members of the house,
regardless of whose friend caused it in the
first place. In some ways the cops coming is a
blessing in disguise as it ends the "random
people" occupation of your pad as well as
signals the start of the post party, which is
actually the "real" party.
<td height="20" width="100%">Despite
your popularity or level of "coolness"
any college student can throw the perfect party.
You see, parties don't change. Only people and
trends change. The same principles that made you
grandparents post-war shin-digs raving success's
can turn your "pimps and ho's" or
"heaven and hell" into the party of
the year. By following these time-tested
traditions and fundamentals you will hook up
more, have more fun, and truly enjoy those 7
years we so lovingly refer to as college.
http://www.quikcondoms.com/content.jsp?ch=college_corner& ; ;id=153</span>
Edited by: club222
This is a great toppic, and i cant believe it was asked... Here is my directions:
-Dont tell anyone but your friends
-Dont tell ANYONE! until the night of the party
-Mix drinks, dont drink straight
-Stop when drunk
and most importantly
Wear a condom, because if you dont your small party, will turn into a small family. And god knows if your asking for party help then to the parenting forums you go . Hope all goes well.
Great post, clu222.
/the printer is running
Awesome post. But one thing that is to be taken into consideration is the type of party you want. Different types of alcohol and people can make totally different parties. Your going to want to have more than vodka if its more than just friends. The people throwing it(you and a few others) should take muirners advice and stop when drunk orelse youllbe to drunk to pick up on the girls whenthey ask so this is your party... If its going to be around high school level be sure that you check out ppls drunk record..its a smart idea for teenagers drinking lots of liquer(god knows Im one of them). And its always fun to get alot of "real" partiers(crazy drunks)to get things going. A punch bowl Incredible hulks(hypnotic and hennesy) is great. Zero grounds for the experts .
Let me re-emphasize Muirner: Don't tell anyone until the night of the party.
This is valuable information and should be followed unless you want a mob of the gayest people on earth.
just don't invite any stupid people, especially ditzy girls who don't know how to hold their alcohol.
my friend is always bragging about hulk, i think i'll have him bring it , wut i think i'll do is tell all my so-so friends that its cancelled so i dont gotta wry about too many, then see how it goes from there
Heres how to pull of a great party
Tell ur closest friends to start a pool for a party for alcohol. tell them to tell NOBODY whose party its going to be.
Then, call ur friends and tell them to each bring 2-3 people, about 4-6 hours before the pre-gaming
then only ur friends come to pre-gaming where u play pong, make small talk
then real party comes, u whip out the rest of the alcohol have fun, then tell everyone to leave @ 12 or 1, thell be gone @ 2 or 3, and then u and ur friends can finish the party.
I have done 4 of these at my house succesfully when my parents have been gone for only 16 hours (like 3x 10and 1x 16) only 1 time cops showed up and told me to keep the noise down, but no trouble otherwise.
Also have ur fiends park away from ur house, so it is not THAT easy to tell where the party is
LASTLY, NO BONGS PERMITTED OUTSIDE.... many of my friends parties have been busted up because some nosey neighbor calls the cops after seeing 3-4 kids with a 4 footer outside
Stay safe, being a responsible adult is the way to go!
A truley great party depends on two main things: Who you invite, and what you serve.
When you're throwing a party you want to be selective about who you invite. You dont want to invite the guy that gets violent when he's drunk, this will only end with the police coming and some of your shit broken. You dont want to invite the jealous boyfriend, this is usually also the violent drunk, everytime that some one speaks to his girlfriend there will be a conflict, and conflict should be avoided at all costs. You dont want to invite the the jealous girlfriend either. You dont want to invite the drama queen, because it will end up with her crying in the corner and all of her friends consoling her, this takes atleast five girls out of the party, not good. You dont want to invite the girls the have two shots and say,"Oh my good I'msoo drunk" These girls will not shut up, it's annoying and can ruin anyones time. But if they are really hot then its okay.There is also a bunch of other obvious people you dont want to invite such as: the goth that doesn't talk, the "sexual predator" who doesn't gets that no means no, thecock blocks, narks,and the ugly girl who thinks she's hot.
You wnat to invite people who will have a good time, and respect you, your house/apartment/dorm, and your belongings.
What to serve: From my own personal experiences I no longer serve whiskey or tequila, these drinks tend to make people get "out of hand".
I suggest having plenty of beer, shot of Jagermeister, vodka, mixed drinks, and some "bitch drinks" such as triple black, shcmernoff ras, etc..
What you serve decides what type of party you have so choose wisely
Well..............This is good advice if you don't want a mess or any problems. But if your lookng to score some strange (ie: new poon) the lower the IQ of the biotches the better!
Hahaha, this reminds me of the first party I ever threw. Some
bitch was gonna throw a huge (like over 300 person) party at this
mansion, but it got cancelled. The night that it was supposed to
happen, we told a bunch of people to try and stop down at this kid's
house (my friend's). Shit, we hooked up a stereo system so loud
that kids driving into town could hear our music at the 7-11, which was
a good mile at least down the road.
Fucking a huge jacuzzi, inside it's own jacuzzi shack with disco ball
(and no other lights there), a huge lawn covered with oriental rugs and
couches and coffe tables with candles, and a drunken me giving people
tours of the kid's property via a really fast lawnmower with a wagon
attached. Hahaha, try driving one of those fuckers with your
knees, while holding a drink in each hand, while smoking, with drunk
kids falling out of the wagon. That's real skill bitch.
Needless to say, party got busted big time. By the popo. Something like 18 arrests I think. Including me.
Oh, and if you want to avoid alcohol poisoning at a party, keep a lot
of food out that people will eat, and drinks to drink other than booze
so if someone is actually thirsty they'll have something nonalcoholic
and ration the alcohol, like just keep enough to keep things going, and
whenever it runs out, get someone to do a booze run. If it's a
cool party, people will just bring alcohol to share or sell, so that's
Edited by: Diphenhydramine