I dont feel like me...

Discussion in 'Ecstasy & MDMA' started by Gareth, Oct 28, 2004.

  1. Gareth

    Gareth Silver Member

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    I've had ecstacy a few times now and both times before this, it felt much weaker. But it was perfect for a good time. This last time (saturday night, its thursday now), I took what must have been a very big pill. Within 30 minutes I was almost hallucinating. I immediately went to the bathroom and threw up. The sensation didnt end for maybe 3 hours. After that, it was still far too intense to even dance. I took the pill at 2am and I was still feeling on air by 10am. I knew that this was a long time. Anyway. I've had some serious depression. That's not the worst of it though. I still feel some residual effects. Sound, sight, touch. It's all got a tinge of surrealism. It feels like an incredibly mild trip, permanently. I fear I might have done some brain damage, even though it was just this one big trip. I feel like my senses have been numbed. And I feel slightly dizzy all the time. My sleep and attetite has also been affected a lot. I just feel all round stupider. I can't think as quickly as I could.


    Who can I talk to about this? Im scared out of my mind that I'm never going to be the same. Will this go away/out of my system? Will I heal if it's permanent? Can someone suggest some forums that I could visit and get some advice?


    Thanks, Gareth.
     
  2. Pinkavvy

    Pinkavvy Platinum Member & Advisor

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    This is a good example as to why pills are bad. Get the pure chemical and get an accurate dose of something you know it is, rather than taking a pill from some stranger.

    You may have been overdosed with MDA or more then likely some obscure research chem. I am all for the research chems, but not when they are irresponisbly sold as e in pills or something.

    What can anybody recomend for you? Who knows what you took and how much. And who knows what meds you're normally on and how the mystery pill reacts to it. If you don't feel better in a few days, I would definately go get checked and be honest, you took a pill and don't know what was in it. Make sure it is clear that it was not ecstacy and that you were givin some mystery pill ... the last thing we need is more bad press for ecstacy because stupid people gave you something else as ecstacy.

    truely hope you feel better, and in the future, don't mess with pills you don't know.
     
  3. Gahaba22

    Gahaba22 Gold Member

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    I agree with pinkavvy. I do believe this "hangover" effect will subside, though. I wish you the best.

    geeb
     
  4. Lynchx

    Lynchx Newbie

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    sounds like a big dose of MDA to me
     
  5. Gareth

    Gareth Silver Member

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    Has this happened to anyone else? Is this MDA effect likely so subside?
     
  6. Lynchx

    Lynchx Newbie

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    ya it will goaway your brain chemisty is prolly just tryin to go back to normal
     
  7. white_lighter

    white_lighter Newbie

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    yea thats what happends when you drain your brain chem
     
  8. Gareth

    Gareth Silver Member

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    Lynch, that was the single most comforting thing I have ever been told in my entire life.... bar none. Im completely serious with you. And thankyou.Just went out and splurged on $80worth of vm2000 minerals, gingko biloba supplements and bananas.





    It could very well have been MDA, or a hoast of other drugs, or even combined. I still feel like it was just a strong dose of MDMA. Something I've never had before (much weaker in the past). The initial onset was very similar to the previous times but it just got stronger and stronger. I've read experiences at erowid of people who have tried all the drugs under the label of ecstacy and MDMA seems the closest thing so far. I think I might just have a very delicate seratonin balance in my brain (had depression as a kid, 8 years back). Or be one of those with a slow metabolic breakdown in my liver (apparently it affects 2-9% of the population).


    If I knew this would go away eventually I'd actually be having fun. Just touching things still feels spaced-out. It's this constant nagging fear that it wont leave that scares the living shit out of me. I've made an oath to never take another mind-altering drug, and that includes alcohol, maybe even caffeine.
     
  9. Lynchx

    Lynchx Newbie

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    nah man it was real intensive roll im sure it was MDA and if u was having trails or minor visuals effects of the roll than yes it was MDA and trust me you will be fine what you are going threw is just a lil chemical off balance you will be find take them vitamens u got, im sure give it a few days you will be back in normal state of mind.


    after you do drugs and while you are on drugs your brain chemicals and etc.. changes from the drugs you have eat and while your brain was on drugs it was used to being on drugs now its not used to being sober now your brain chemicals is just getting back to normal. trust me if anything was really wrong you would be in the hospitol or sumthing by now, just chill. and relax
     
  10. Gareth

    Gareth Silver Member

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    I think I'm slowly starting to get back to normal. F***... Really makes you re-evaluate things. I might just be getting used to the changes but at least it doesn't feel as dibilitating as it did a week ago.
     
  11. Lynchx

    Lynchx Newbie

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    atleast you are feeling better
     
  12. Skeptikon

    Skeptikon Newbie

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    Yeah, seratonin depletion occurs with E and MDA as well as depletion of
    the precursors to seratonin...if that's what you got that's why it
    takes so long to get back to normal. Your brain's pretty shocked, but
    it'll come back. Just don't do E or MDA for a long time, and make sure
    you are getting the right shit if you choose to again. And take lots of
    antioxidants, E causes a lot of free radical production.
     
  13. FrankenChrist

    FrankenChrist Iridium Member

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    8 hours seems too long for MDMA.
     
  14. Antidote

    Antidote Newbie

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    Gareth, I hope you're still checking on this thread because there's something that you should probably check into. Some people aregenetically apt towards something called depersonalization disorder. I went through a period of depersonalization a few years ago, and I completely understand what you are saying. You feel like you are a stranger in your body, that you can't quite believe in reality itself. It makes you feel all alone, but let me assure you, you're not. If your still having this problem, i suggest you visit www.depersonalization.info . Check out the stories, I think you'll identify with them. Hope I helped in some small way :)
     
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  15. Ximot

    Ximot Newbie

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    I think I may have been there too, almost ten years ago. Really weird pills, I'd expected The Real Thing and got sth like you described. Totally visual, like acid but not, and I ended up very scared and unhappy and introspective and uncommunicative. This happened a few times, and I reckon serotonin imbalance may well play a part in this.

    One supplement I would suggest to help counteract that is l-tryptophan, an amino acid you also find in bananas. 500mg of that should work wonders within a week.

    Oh, and to believe in yourself, your sanity, other people, and the power of love. Helped me loads when I went through a difficult time.

    And to accept whatever you may be feeling.

    take good care
     
  16. hippie_lain

    hippie_lain Gold Member

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    Hope your still checking the thread. If you do take E again be sure to get a couple SSRIs. They help alot with neurotoxity and serotonin imbalance

    O ya, i forgot to tell you, take them at least 24 hours after you come downEdited by: BA
     
  17. Gareth

    Gareth Silver Member

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    Thanks guys, I thought it was time to check up here again and I'm glad
    I did. I haven't had a chance to look up the website yet, antidote, but
    I will right now.



    I'm feeling much better though. Most of the sensation and coordination
    problems have left (I practiced doing mundane tasks over and over to
    try to recalibrate sense and coordination). I'm still left with a
    strange 'apathy', which seems to be persisting no matter what I do.
    It's a kind of lethargy. My brain feels like it wants to function at
    60%. Maybe I can describe it as being INCREDIBLY relaxed. So much so
    that it's annoying. Where as I used to want to find something to occupy
    myself with, I can just stare at the wall, or objects for a long time,
    drawing a blank in my mind. My emotion and motivation has been dulled
    or removed. I can almost liken this to depression (then again I can
    liken this to schizophrenia, trauma, nutritional imbalances, physical
    ailments, you name it). There is no 'want' or 'reason' to do anything.
    I've looked into maybe having a possible underlying schizophrenia
    problem. Nothing conclusive but there are some symptoms which are
    conducive. I HAVE improved over time though, so there's no reason to
    believe that this particular ailment wont either.
     
  18. whatwhybecause

    whatwhybecause Newbie

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    this is not atypical with what happened to myself. overdosin, which seems to have happened here, for whatever reason (r.chems etc. etc.), leads to symptoms like this. after an extremely ridiculous amount of pills (i was younger god damn it!) i experienced massive mouth ulcers, cudnt talk, eat, sleep because of the pain. i developed a rash, lost eye coordination (it was like somebody was pulling one eye in one way and the other the opposite way, as if like a chameleon). everything was fuzzy around the edges like tunnel vision, i cudnt stand without feelin sick, but wen i finally managed to get to the toilet i cudnt b sick, i cudnt pass water n i broke out in massive cold sweats for days and days. as well as all that i was 'spaced out', not being able to focus on uni work, not being able to concentrate enough to take out simply, quotidian, mundane tasks.


    eventually i decided that whatever happened i had to get on with it and so i began to put back together my normal life and luckily the effects have now worn off. i saught medical advice and they said that it was simply down to the fact that i had overdosed and was now going through 'extended comedown' (thats the way he described it).


    now i'm 'all back together' and so i suppose its just a lesson learnt.
     
  19. psyche

    psyche Palladium Member

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    SWIM's slight personality problems seem awfully lot like a depersonalization syndrome except it isn't that big of a problem (yet). He has smoked weed very much every day the last fall and the self-monitoring, which is repeated several times in http://www.dpselfhelp.com/, has really been mostly what I think causes the vicious cycle. As SWIM monitors his behavior, he can't be himself, and when he notes he can't be himself he starts more furiously to search the cause.

    Anyway, SWIM's advice is that at least he found excersize to help remarkably at least for the same evening. Usually he doesn't anymore have much to say and is just answering questions and trying to have tasks done. Playing volleyball hard for couple of hours restores his personality and interest in everything. Losing his personality is the biggest problem since he is like expected to not just answer the questions asked by one word as he has been very talkative when younger. So there has evolved some social phobia to it too.