After 7 weeks of resisting the craving SWIM finally gave in and did it again...twice. on friday and sunday. For weeks SWIM managed to beat the feeling, and minimize his social life, just to avoid the craving. It was a lonely and anxious period but.. last weekend I was tired the fighting and the nervousness that comes with it and SWIM planned to use again. What scares him is that he didnt have had a drink that triggered the craving. Also even though SWIM realised the unavoidable crash, the guilt of using again and feeling miserable afterwards SWIM planned to use for the night. And sunday again. The result: I feel really, really bad now, even suicidal. More depressed than ever. He called in sick monday for work. I dont thimk he can work tomorrow also. He sleeps half the days and the other half hes hating himself. Damn the coke, damn me.