I never stop....(cocaine usage)

Discussion in 'Cocaine addiction' started by jeper, Sep 26, 2006.

  1. jeper

    jeper Newbie

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    After 7 weeks of resisting the craving SWIM finally gave in and did it again...twice. on friday and sunday. For weeks SWIM managed to beat the feeling, and minimize his social life, just to avoid the craving. It was a lonely and anxious period but.. last weekend I was tired the fighting and the nervousness that comes with it and SWIM planned to use again. What scares him is that he didnt have had a drink that triggered the craving. Also even though SWIM realised the unavoidable crash, the guilt of using again and feeling miserable afterwards SWIM planned to use for the night. And sunday again. The result: I feel really, really bad now, even suicidal. More depressed than ever. He called in sick monday for work. I dont thimk he can work tomorrow also. He sleeps half the days and the other half hes hating himself.

    Damn the coke, damn me.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 27, 2006
  2. MrJim

    MrJim Gold Member

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    Kicking it is normally a long process. We as people tend to think that one slip up and all the work we put into quitting is over, but by thinking like that we set ourselves up for defeat. Quitting often entails a pitfall or two, but it is how you handle them that makes the quitting work. Admitting you did something that you are trying not to do will make the next craving more bearable. When you have cravings try to remember all the shitty episodes and the reason you want to quit. The pitfalls will be shorter and further between as long as you don't give up your resolve. It takes time to beat something. Hang in there and try not to be too hard on yourself.
     
  3. Forthesevenlakes

    Forthesevenlakes Platinum Member

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    Many people have to try many times to give something up. But as MrJim says, there's a couple ways to go about this. One is believing that you've failed, and to be hard on yourself and relapse. The other is to look at this as a temporary setback. This latter way is probably the healthier way to look at it. That it's not the end of the quitting process, but rather a step on the road to recovery. Just try to take into account the factors that made you use this time, so that you can avoid them for the future.
     
  4. KomodoMK

    KomodoMK Palladium Member

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    I can understand minimizing your social life to avoid the craving, but with this also comes the boredom factor, which can also lead to the same thing. In future when you get that craving, just remember this little relapse you have had, and how you was feeling after, this may give you that little bit of extra will power to deal with it. On the boredom front, you should try find something to do to take your mind off things, which I know is easier said than done.

    Good luck!
     
  5. Nicaine

    Nicaine Titanium Member

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    jeper,

    You probably did it the wrong way... in SWIM's opinion, cravings should be faced as soon as possible. Immediately, even. Coke cravings are similar to nicotine and have to be "deconditioned" -- the brain learns to associate a lot of things with the drug, and these associations are the direct cause of cravings once brain chemistry has returned to normal. You should try to get out and do as much as possible in the usual situations, except *not* using coke of course. If this is completely impossible, maybe he's just not sick & tired of it enough yet.

    But has You tried? Other than hanging with dealers, he should try doing the exact same things as before, except without the cola. No more lonely/anxious periods, just temptation/cravings that have to be overcome via *learned* processes.

    P.S. another option that I have recommended before is to travel someplace where there's no access to cola and You can stay for at least a couple weeks, preferably a month or more. Then try the above after returning home. Probably not an option open to most, however. I have broken quite a few binges in the past using the 'geographical method'... it's not a permanent solution, but a decent kick-start if one is serious about quitting and knows someone who lives out in the sticks.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 16, 2009
  6. fletch

    fletch Gold Member

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    definatly nicaine has a valid point, if the cravings are too strong to bear, remove yourself from situations that cola is easily accessible, swim kicked the habit for about 2 and 1/2 months, yet was around cola every single day of that time period but had motives that drove him not to do it. however I has recently dipped back and swims habit was never recreational, its daily, however swim knws that when the desire to quit is strong enough it can be done, because right now using is something that I want to be doing and swim knws that when he doesnt want to do it anymore he simply wont, its all about how badly you want to not do it, because if ther is an skepticism in your head its gonna result in dabbling once again.
     
  7. ai

    ai Titanium Member

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    SwIM kinda in the same boat.. been using crack for about 6 months now off an on.. have been trying to honestly quit for about 2... i've had 3 repaspes.. Swim's problem is somewhat difficult.. it's where SWIM live. and there isn't much swim's can do about it right now. swim's have to lock myself in the house or else I will be

    with that said, even with the relaspes, I am learning from each one. swim know I has to keep myself busy. swim have to keep happy thoughts. Read the book called "the secret". swim go to a rehab class... I had to stop because all the rehab class was doing is making me think about it. swim works alot so when I am not at rehab very little does using cross swim's mind... but going to the classes... when you think about something, your mind doesn't know the difference between good and bad.. you are attracting it to your life.

    the longest I went was about a month...drink alot of water, eat healthy, set goals, work to acheive thoose goals.. they are all things that wll keep you away
     
  8. realitybias

    realitybias Titanium Member

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    Look up a drug called modafinil, provigil, etc.

    They all are cool in that it blunts the effects of cocaine, including its addictive properties.

    I recommend staying on a large dose for at least two weeks. I found it on an online pharmacy, but it is readily available on the interwebs.
     
    1. 3/5,
      made the same experience
      Oct 4, 2007
  9. nousernamesleft1234

    nousernamesleft1234 Newbie

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    been a while since i posted in this thread, I am doing better not off but has limited use to probably 2 or 3 days a month. had been clean and I got a bunch of aderol was helping as a crutch a month or two ago, was supposed to take it to get work done and snort a little bit for a boost but had bought 4 30mg non-time-release and snorted all four in 12 hours, bumpity bump of chest insued luckily I has script for ativan (lorazipam) and calmed down but comming down scared himself silly and saw the light, went totally clean for month then over turkey break my friend at home (as I go to college 2 hours from home) bought an 8 ball. I took offered few lines and friend was "nice" enough to give swim a free gram so I went back. Got some again week later (tonight) with plan to do one G and sell other 2.5 gs and not stay up all night, will be a test of will power. If cant stop at pre desired limit them swim knows its all or nothing but I has high hopes he can control. will let u know how it goes....
     
  10. thealmassi1

    thealmassi1 Silver Member

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    You should go to rehab dude, just don't go cold turkey, kick it for good at rehab, it's easier there because other ppl are going through similar addictions and you'll be able to have a social life without being tempted to contine snorting.
    And seeing You has enough money for coke, he should be able to afford it.
     
  11. Fight Club

    Fight Club Titanium Member

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    You is not going to be able to quit using cocaine when he/she is still selling cocaine. It's hard enough to get clean when you live in an environment free of temptation.

    You need to be willing to accept major changes in your life and lifestyle. Stay away from people, places, and things that fuel your cravings. That means new friends, new job, maybe even a new geographic location.

    Ever been to an AA / NA meeting? Even if you don't believe in God, powerlessness, 12-steps, etc., it is a good place to meet some sober people you can hang with.

    Above all, however, stop buying and selling coke.

    FC
     
  12. JaWill88

    JaWill88 Titanium Member

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    it could be good to stay away from people, places, and things associated with drug use at the beginning of sobriety, but later its probably for the best to learn to deal with these things and not have to use because of them. its dealing with life. otherwise You is going to have to end up going to a 12 step meeting everyday to deal with it. and thats a whole other addiction/problem in itself.
     
  13. jmakin

    jmakin Newbie

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    Gambling is a major part of my income, and one hard truth about playing poker more than recreationally is there are alot of swings. You get up 100 bucks in 1 day, you lose 80 the next. sometimes it's more drastic, sometimes less. 3 steps forward, 2 steps back kind of a deal. As long as the OVERALL, LONG TERM direction that you are heading is positive, do NOT worry about a slipup. Yes, you should feel guilty, it is the guilt that will prevent you from going back into old habits again, but do not let it overwhelm you! Keep your mindset heading in a positive direction, I guarantee you you will see some results.
     
  14. Fight Club

    Fight Club Titanium Member

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    There's an old saying "relapse is part of recovery . . . but it doesn't have to be". For NIK it has been. He has an impressive collection of 30 day, 2, 3, and 6 month coins and key fobs accumulated over the past 2 years. Each time NIK has a slip, however, he tries to learn from what happened, and gain understanding; understanding that will help him get to the next level of recovery without a slip.

    Don't beat yourself up, and don't throw in the towel. It's alot easier to stop using cocaine than it is to stay stopped. Even if you slip now and again, you are still better off than you would be with an extended binge or daily use.

    Work towards being cocaine-free. It's not the end of the world if you slip. What does happen, however, is that it tends to reset the clock in terms of craving, depression, anxiety, etc. All of those things will improve with clean time.

    FC
     
  15. chemlove

    chemlove Titanium Member

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    recovery isn't a sprint and won't be over soon. Its something that personality wise you'll have to deal with for the rest of your life. With hard work you can get over the physical withdraw. The other issue though, is that mentally that addiction could be there forever. Addiction is probably not the best word, you could say the temptation is what will always be there. If you continue to hang around people who use this or other drugs, it may be really hard if not impossible to quit. In I's experiences he couldn't quit certain drugs until he just left people behind and made himself the most important person in his life, even dumping a serious girlfriend because his being sober was (at the time) far more important.
     
  16. chemlove

    chemlove Titanium Member

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    This is a great analogy. I don't want people to think that I'm making fun of addiction. But the fact that in poker its a game of highs and lows is much like addiction, heck most players especially the really good ones that know they could win may have and probably do have an addiction. I agree that addiction is filled with hills and valleys and sometimes its really tough. I hope that everything goes well for you (in the long road) because its not where you start or how quickly you from A to B, but rather how quickly you get from A to Z.