I had a dream last night that this happened to me: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Okay, I'll start from the beginning... I was an 11 year old kid, hanging out with one of my friend's older brothers (I'll call him L), after school in October of '97. We ended up at the home of one of L's friends playing some Goldeneye on the 'ol N64. While we were playing, this friend of L's went into the kitchen and walked out with something bulging out of the pocket on his hoodie. He motioned us to follow him outside, and I found out the bulge was a huge bong he was hiding from his little brother (who was older than me). At this point I had never tried any drugs, just an occasional cigarette with L. L's friend packed the bong with what they called "some killer weed." Like I said, I never tried marijuana at this point, but I knew that it was supposed to be green. It was what I now know to be some of the cheapest commercial pot I've ever seen, but with a kicker. It wasn't green. From a few feet away it looked like a dark yellow to light orange leaf, but close up it looked like pot with a HEFTY layer of some sort of powder on it. It looked like it was probably 80% pot and literally 20% powder. It was almost exactly like that yellow salt stuff you pour on your home made popcorn. He packed the bong, took a rip, passed it to L, and packed it up again. Probably feeling the peer pressure and wondering what it would do, I took the bong. Not knowing how to use it, I had to pass it back to L so he could fill it with the cloud for me. I inhaled probably the biggest cloud I've taken to date, just about tearing my young lungs apart. A minute or two passed by and I didn't feel anything, so I took another rip, about half the size of the first one because my throat hurt so bad. 5 minutes went by, and I didn't really feel much. Just a little light-headed and had the worst cotton-mouth of my life. I told them that their weed sucked and started riding my bike home. About a block and a half of riding my bike I felt this wave hit me. It literally hit me out of the blue with hardly any onset, and it hit me so hard I fell flat off of my bike in the middle of the road. As I tried to get up I realized that my whole world was fucked. It felt like the whole sky was falling down on me, pulsing in very quick waves right after another. I heard a ringing in my ears and then all I could hear was WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP pulsing with each of these waves falling on top of my head. Disoriented and not knowing what was happening to me, L started walking towards me. To this day I can remember the grin on his face, just stunned not knowing what was going on. I realized that it just started kicking in for him too. This grin is forever etched into my memory because it was my very first visual. His head started warping, almost melting but not quite. His head would stretch to what was probably about 2 to 3 feet in width, and whenever it would stretch in width it would shrink in height. His head just kept warping back and forth back and forth. I then tried to look around, and everything started doing this. Not everything, but certain objects just seemed like they were warping in waves. I never saw any hallucinations, just these objects totally changing shape. On top of that, there was that feeling of the sky falling down on you, as well as total loss of my being. I felt like I was dying at first, and then it felt like I was just totally gone. The best way to describe it is that I just felt like I was actually in a dream, like I wasn't really here. I know a lot of drugs can make you feel like that, but that's the best way I can put it into words. L (handling it much better than I was) tossed my bike to the sidewalk and started guiding me towards his house. L, his friend, and I all lived within a few blocks, so where I fell off of my bike was only a 1 minute walk to his house. It took us probably 2 or 3 minutes to walk up his driveway. It wasn't a long driveway, but maybe at a 20 or 30 degree angle. We were walking against this force that was pulling us to the ground, so it felt like we were inching up an almost vertical ground. When we got to the level ground we walked to his bedroom window. He lived in a tri-level house, so his bedroom was kind of in ground. He opened it up and I just fell in head first. It felt like I floated right through a cloud or something, just like it would feel physically if you were dreaming it. After that I plopped onto his bed and I guess I either blacked out or just totally lost memory of what happened over the next hour or two. The next thing I remember was walking down my hallway looking into the the bathroom as my brother bashed L right in the mouth, knocking him into the bathtub. L, being kind of a hard knock of the neighborhood and a few years older than my brother, usually would have beat my brother to a pulp. I guess my brother saw how fucked up L got me and was scared my mom was going to find me like that, so he threw a punch at him. L didn't throw one back, he was just flattened out in the tub still feeling the "killer weed" quite a bit. I'm pretty pissed L got me into this nightmare, but I'm pretty grateful that he somehow got me home. Who knows where I would have ended up. L finally left and I went straight for my bedroom. I took that first bong rip at about 7, and it was only 9 at this point. For the next 6 or so hours I just sat there in my bed feeling what was like the end of the world, a scared shitless kid having what was probably panic attacks. It was so overwhelming, I just wanted it to stop. The last time I looked at the clock it was 3 in the morning, still feeling it. I don't know if it was starting to wear off or if I was just getting used to it, but at this point I wasn't freaking out as bad. I must have fallen asleep between 3 or 4. I woke up the next morning disoriented, but back to earth. For some reason I decided to not stay home, and went off to school. That first day afterwards was the worst. I couldn't focus on anything, everything was foggy, and it seemed like my vision was totally out of whack. The numbers in my math book looked like they were popping out a little bit in 3d, and it was just a horrible day. The whole next week was like this, but not as bad as that first day. Now this next part is what people roll their eyes about... To this day I still have negative effects from this experience. Immediately following this nightmare I thought I was going crazy. L said that he felt the effects for about a week after that night and then was fine. Since he was back to normal shortly afterwards, and I still felt like I was in a dream, I went to the doctor. I never told my doctor what I did because my mom was right there, but I described all of my symptoms. I still feel like I'm in a dream 24 hours a day. It has to do with my vision more than anything else. The best way to describe it is to think of a dream you had or a memory. The way everything looks to me is as if I'm remembering a memory, as compared to actually seeing everything around me in real time. It's really weird, but I don't know how else to say it. On top of that, my vision is all messed up in darkness. You know how when you were a kid, have you ever closed your eyes really hard and press on them, let go and you see stars? Well that's what everything looks like in darkness. I also feel really detached, sometimes more than others, from everything going on around me. Sometimes I can put myself into a semi-catatonic state in an instant, like I'm going into a deep meditative state in a few seconds. I also used to get "flashbacks." I guess that's what you could call these episodes. I haven't had one of these for years, but they were horrible. They didn't bring me back to that night 100%, but I would have a sort of panic attack. Everything would echo, I would feel the WOMP WOMP waves, things would start to distort. They wouldn't totally warp like they did that night, just slightly start to warp or distort. My vision would go totally nuts, almost like things just wouldn't register. I could see, but it wouldn't register. I would get total tunnel vision. My whole peripheral would just be a blur. They could last up to 30 minutes, followed by a pretty harsh headache. These attacks would usually only come on if I was moving quickly. It happened probably 5 or 6 times while I was riding my bike through the woods. It felt almost like the trees surrounding me overwhelmed my eyes, and I just started to shut down. It also happened maybe 2 or 3 times while driving in the car. One of the times it happened in the car my mom was fighting with my brother. My mom thought that these attacks were just from stress, but I think it was more from the loud noise of their voices and the car moving. Sometimes the attacks would come when stress was involved, but it also occured when there was no stress. For the next year I was shipped around from doctor to doctor who prescribed med after med. First they thought I was having some sort of migraine, so I was on just about every migraine medication there was. That didn't help, so they started putting me on anti-depressants like amitriptyline and prozac, saying that these will help my "migraines." These only made it worse, clouding everything up. After going to a neurologist and many other doctors, they thought something with my eyesight was causing these symptoms. The furthest I've ever gotten with these doctors was the conclusion that I have ocular migraines. I went to an opthamologist and they ran a bunch of tests, concluding that either my rods(light photoreceptors) and/or my cones(color photoreceptors) were not working properly. This was then causing these ocular migraines that are causing the tunnel vision and other odd symptoms. Their cure was giving me a small rectangular lens, and picture of a cat. I taped the picture to a wall and put the lens over my eye for 10 seconds, switched eyes, and then looked at something through my window across the street. I was supposed to do this exercise twice a day. This did nothing for me at all, so after a few months I stopped and went back to the doctor. They basically said they didn't know what was wrong with me, and that I was either going to have to take some more anti-depressants or just learn to live with it. Well, I decided to learn to live with it, and my life hasn't been the same since that night. I experimented with MANY different drugs during high school trying to self medicate this feeling out of me(staying away from orange powder of course). The only thing that seemed to make it worse was pot. Once in a great while, smoking a little cannabis could bring on a semi-flashback. Out of my drug experimenting phase, I ended up trying oxycontin. It was the most wonderful thing in the world. Not because it totally rocked my world, but it seemed to make those odd symptoms go away a little bit. When I was on opiates it felt like I wasn't as detached as I used to be. Under the influence of opiates doesn't usually make the average person more focused, but it did for me. To make a long story short, I ended up with a nasty 5-year long heroin/any opiate I could find addiction. After a year in the methadone clinic, and a few months tapering off of that with suboxone, I'm now opiate free. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~What a weird dream Now that I am totally off of opiates and other drugs, except for his occasional ayahuasca brew, these symptoms are starting to come back. They were always there(especially the weird vision), even when on opiates, but just not as bad. The heroin seemed to dull these symptoms away. Now that I am totally detoxed, everything is starting to get cloudy again. I haven't had one of the panic attack flashbacks for a few years now, but he's starting to feel the cloudy head and disassociative states again. I guess why I am posting this in this forum is because he still don't know what happened to him. To this day he doesn't know what was on that pot. By looking on erowid the closest thing he can compare his experience to would be PCP, but he's not totally convinced. First of all it was an orange powder. On erowid it says PCP comes in liquid or white powder. PCP would be a good candidate being a disassociative, and looking up on disassociative brain damage I read that it can cause problems with "certain aspects of visual perception." I also read that the longer a person is feeling the effects from disassociatives, the higher the risk of permanent brain damage. I was freaking out from 7pm to 3am in my dream, so that makes sense. PCP isn't supposed to last that long, but whatever was on it was a much higher dose than what it was supposed to be. But the rest of SWIM's symptoms don't really tie in with disassociative brain damage. L was fine after that first week, but I am still screwed up. L said it wore off for him by 10 or 11 o'clock. I was 11 years old who had never tried anything in my dream, and L was 15 or 16 who had tried quite a bit for that age, but still. I'm not totally convinced that I have disassociated brain damage and there's nothing he can do. Why do the opiates seem to have such a positive effect? What in the hell is wrong with SWIM? I know this all sounds like a cliche, don't smoke weed kids it will mess you up, but it happened. I know he did this to himself, but unfortunately it happened. Any opinions would be appreciated.