Issues with using friends

Discussion in 'Family & friends' started by X1987, Dec 26, 2006.

  1. X1987

    X1987 Newbie

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    SWIM IS POSTING BECAUSESHE IS REALLY ANNOYED. I am planning on leaving her friends and finding some new ones. SWIM's friends 'were' some of the best she has had, but recently they are just addicted to coke. SWIM moved in with a friend months ago into a new house, and theres a person who lives near who deals. SWIM's friend has slept with him for coke, and she is getting worse, it only used to be one off usage but now she does it every week and this morning, I went down staris to find it all over the table. SWIM keeps asking her not to do it in the house because she hates drugs.

    I had to put a lock on her door because she no longer trusts her new coke mates. Shes has got my other mates into it, and I am starting to feel left out because they try and keep it a hush from her. And all they go on about is coke coke coke. In three months they have got at least 2 friends of my into coke, who would never have drugs and then last night I was talking to a friend who said that she would never ever do it. Only to tell me that she had some last night, SWIM told her she was dissapointed with her.

    So SWIM seems to be the only one in the group that hasnt been tempted to join the rest. I am sad to lose her friends because they used to have fun but now going out and taking drugs at partys all the time is what they find fun. They think I am boring, and I am sick of making excuses to not go with them to the parties. She just cant be assed with everyone off their head. Another friend is always dissed by them because she always tells them its bad. I don't say anything but she is sick of it. She just feels like they dont care like they used to.

    I am going to find some new friends since coke stole hers! Out of the twenty people or so I know well, 16 are taking coke. my friend list is getting shorter! So does this mean when SWIM qualifies as a therapist her clients are probably going to be her friends, probably. They dont even care that I don't go out with them much, or notice, and I don't care if they think she is not cool. Whats cool about coke?

    Recently SWIM's 'mate' brought these two guys round, I have seen one before, then the other started trying to fight SWIM's boyfriend because he wouldnt give them a lift down the road, SWIM told them to get out. And you would have thought our mate would have been on SWIM's side, if you get, but she fucked off with them to get her drugs. What is so cool about coke? Really, when you dont do it, and you see how people you knew change so bad it puts you off.

    I had to get that out, she is just shocked at the amount of people who take it! I am doing psychology training to be a mental health nurse, what are they doing, they are all losing jobs and having affairs with married people, its gone mad! If you take drugs I would really like to know the significance since asking her 'friends' will only lead to her being dissed about how apparently boring she is.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 10, 2007
  2. Trebor

    Trebor Palladium Member

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    Re: Why?!

    First of, you live with this person, I presme it's their house? If so they were there first.
    Secondly, people who use drugs tend to surround themselves with fellow users. People they can relate to.

    You live with them therefore you must move out if you're finding this uncomfortable. If it was your home it would be different. But yeah, get new friends if you don't like these ones.
     
  3. sciencedj

    sciencedj Silver Member

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    Re: Why?!

    If I was you...I would change friends and living arrangements. You need to focus on becoming a mental health nurse.

    Soon enough, things will start to disappear from the house, your belongings may be stolen, there will be excuses and fights over the utility bills and rent. You were smart to put a lock on your door.

    SWIM's best advice to you is to lose these "friends". SWIM know's this is easier said than done, but if you plan on being a health professional..you do not need to be living in a house that may be raided because people are using cocaine in your house. If you get a felony arrest(in the USA), you may be at risk for giving up your chances to practice nursing.

    I have seen coke ruin many friendships. Excessive cocaine use leads to greed, paranoia, financial ruin, and possibly crime and jail (SWIM know's...I am a pessimist...but a cautious pessimist).

    Get out while you can (if possible), focus on your studies. You statement "I am planning on leaving my friends and finding some new ones" is a smart one.
     
  4. X1987

    X1987 Newbie

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    Re: Why?!

    SWIM just feels sad that they all used to have loads of fun and be all best mates for years but they just leave her out now and they moved in together and split the rent so it is SWIM's home too. She just feel like one day, she was their mate and now its not important. SWIM cant really afford to move at the moment because rent is so high where she lives and she really doesn't want to share a house with someone again, and she knows your point about it being raided but cant she just turn a blind eye and say she had 'no idea' since she never mentions how much of a problem it is, actually she never mentions it at all. I would rather prentend she didnt know. She just feels let down because they all used to be so close and you know how people are when they get into groups and they close everyone else off. Its easy to say 'get new friends' but it takes ages to get to know people properly and SWIM misses her old ones.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 10, 2007
  5. Pinkavvy

    Pinkavvy Platinum Member & Advisor

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    Re: Why?!

    Life goes on. Move on, or do something about it. Have you tried speaking your mind? Tell them how you feel. If it's important enough to you, and they are as close as you say they are then you could simply tell them how it makes you feel and you can work something out. Explain you think they are doing too much, and that it's daming your friendship. If you can't do that, or they don't care, the move on.

    'mates' comes and go