It' has been a strange journey, What almost feels like a lifetime ago has really only been six months. I think of myself 7 months ago and remember feeling desperation and guilt, a person who wanted so badly to be normal and just didn't know how, and maybe didn't want to. Now I know how crazy that drug is and how it can take you out, I honestly lost the majority of those years in my memories. They are gone. When I look back It has been 10 years of use, so constant that I couldn't remember if once I took opiates I never stopped. I still glamorize my use sometimes in my mind, remembering how crazy shit got and the rush. I feel almost lost without it at times, and then each morning I don't feel it again. I feel older in a way and not exactly in a good way, more mature I guess but still wanting to be crazy and be like it was only this time without the drugs. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing that I am more stoked on than to have quit shooting heroin because as you all know getting off opiates is rough, but I miss those rails of roxis sometimes or maybe I just miss my youth and the friends that didn't make it out, who fucking knows..