MDMA ‘++++’ Experience This is a trip/roll report for the experience my friend I had with ecstasy several years ago. It was his first time trying the substance and it was one of the most amazing drug experiences of his life, if not one of the most amazing experiences of his life, period. It was in all ways a ‘++++’ experience, which is described by the famed Dr. Shulgin as: To begin, I’ll start by listing some basic information about swim, as well as the setting he would take ecstasy in for the first time. I am a fairly experienced psychedelic user, who has also sampled just about every other commonly available illicit recreationally used substance. He was an especially avid marijuana smoker. He had never tried MDMA before. The night of the inaugural roll swim and several of his friends went to the cinema to see the movie Troy. One of his friends popped an E while in the theatre was really messed up for the whole film. He was visibly twitching during the battle scenes they were so intense. Luckily for swim he was sitting on the other side of the theatre so he didn’t see him. After the movie they all headed to one guy’s apartment for some fun. Sitting in the public recreational area in the apartment building, one of swim’s friends wondered if swim and his other friend who hadn’t tried MDMA would like to roll. They said they had some amazing shit they got that was really worth trying. Swim mulled it over in his mind. He was apprehensive about taking a new substance, especially as he had heard many suspect things about neurotoxicity and overheating and other nasty things that could go with the substance. Plus the price was obscenely high due to the lack of the substance in the region, especially quality pills. Still, his friends were enthused enough about it that he thought he would give it a go. I was handed a double-stack blue pill with a flower picture on it along with a bottle of water. The moment of truth had arrived. Swim and all of his friends piled into the cinema room of the building and, with one final look around at each other, threw the small blue pills into their mouth and washed them down. A friend switched on some groovy but soft electronic music and everyone sat down and relaxed. Swim knew one of the people in the room for only one year about. He knew one of the other guys for about five years and the last guy (the other ecstasy virgin) for about nine years. The atmosphere was really relaxed, yet anxious at the same time. Swim kept questioning his friends with MDMA experience as to how he would know when it hit. “Trust me” a friend said, “You can’t miss it.”. Swim nodded unconvincingly and kept bobbing his head along to the music. Some time went by. I was too nervous to really notice. He hadn’t been this apprehensive about trying a new substance since he first chugged a bottle of cough syrup not knowing what it would do. He got up and started groovin’ a bit to the music. He thought he felt traces of something in his mind, something different, but he was still quite certain that the pill hadn’t kicked in yet. He sat down once again a bit disappointed. He turned to say something to his friend but something stopped him. He froze, he couldn’t move, think, feel, do anything. His mind was slowly orgasming as pleasure enveloped his neurons. For about ten entire seconds he just sat staring at his friend with a gaping mouth as he tried to comprehend the sheer magnitude of what he was feeling in his mind. Finally after what seemed like an eternity swim gasped, “wooooooowwwww!” A huge grin spreading across his face. He looked around at the room he had been sitting in for the past 40 minutes. The same room he had spent countless hours upon hours chilling in smoking with his friends. It seemed to take on a new life. It coursed with energy. Energy… He felt a sense of energy coming from deep within his soul. He had never felt so energetic and high in his life. He felt as though he was pure adrenaline. He stood up effortlessly and simply stood in place moving his limbs. Feeling the grace with which they swept through the air with no effort whatsoever. He felt light as a feather. It was at this moment the music hit him. The music, the music! I always had a deep love and appreciation for music, and was even getting into electronic music a little with the help of his friend, but he had never heard music like this (and probably never has again, even with repeated mdma experiences). He felt as though he was listening to music for the first time, as though music was a completely hidden mystery and he was the explorer who managed to discover it. The sounds reverberated through his body and soul. He felt as though his entire body was an ear that absorbed the sound, pushing it to his heart which ate it up like a car eats fuel. He was immersed in the music like never before. Nothing else mattered. He began to move his arms and legs to the beat, no that doesn’t even explain it. He became the beat. His entire body attuned itself entirely to the music so that his mind didn’t even need to send signals for it to move, it just took on a life of its own, a symbiotic organism composed of his body, his soul, and the music. My fellow ecstasy virgin looked at him with incredulity and extreme anxiety. I was a quiet introvert who would never dance in front of even his closest friends while heavily intoxicated. How in the hell could this be? He began asking his other friends about when it would kick in and what it felt like. At this point swim discovered the empathogenic qualities of mdma. Swim stopped dancing right away to come sit by his friend. He gave him a pat on the back and cheerily explained that he shouldn’t worry, it will come and it will be amazing! I feltcloser to his friends than he ever had in the years of friendship, and he found his concern for them to be overwhelming. As their rolls kicked in one by one the cinema room became alive with spirit and energy as My friends and I let themselves go into the sound waves. Shortly after all of their rolls kicked in, My friends and I found they had some more companions! Their dealers and some of their dealer’s friends came in, and guess what. They were rolling on x too! Now this was a truly interesting situation. Half of the people spoke English, and the other half didn’t really so much. Everyone spoke a smattering of different languages, which made communication tricky at times between certain persons. Still, the atmosphere was simply amazing. I had only met two of the people a few times, one of the people he had met once, and the other two he hadn’t met at all. Still, I had no qualms at all about lunging into conversation with these strangers. Cross-cultural communication at its very best. Swim (who I mentioned before was a total introvert) connected with these people like he would with old friends. It was mind boggling that he could have such self-confidence and be so loose and easy going with people he didn’t even know! *Now as time has passed and memory of the specific details of the roll is a bit fuzzier, I will switch here to listing some definitive features of the roll that stuck in swim’s mind instead of continuing with the chronological narrative* Swim distinctly remembers shaking someone’s hand for the first time while on ecstasy. He doesn’t remember whose hand it was, but it doesn’t matter. He shook hands at least 40-50 times that night. The feeling was so deep, so emotional, he just had to keep doing it. It was no longer a social pleasantry expected of him because of conventions of politeness. It was a connection to another human being. Just by looking someone in the eye and connecting hands he could spread emotional energy from one being to another. Dancing, dancing, dancing! I would never think of dancing (or electronic music) in the same way after that night. It was as if he had an epiphany. I had always enjoyed music in the past, and had a fairly eclectic collection, but things would never be the same musically for him after this night. He would go on a full year electronic music binge, collecting thousands of songs from every electronic genre to satisfy his lust. After that he would go after every type of music possible that he didn’t have, any type of world music from any country, music in any language performed on any instrument. After his first ecstasy experience I didn’t care about what genre was known for what, or what instrument it was performed on, or how old it was, or how popular it was, or anything else. His love of music had been boiled down to the core, and all social conventions that may have partially influenced his opinions on the subject before had disappeared. Speaking of social conventions/norms, swim changed greatly as a person after his first experience with MDMA. This is one of the reasons why ecstasy is the substance he loves most, and one of the reasons this experience was a ‘++++’. Swim still isn’t the loudest most known person at a party, and he isn’t the most outgoing person (mostly when it comes to strangers), but he is no longer as self-conscious and introverted as he was. It clicked at one particular moment in the night. One of swim’s friends was quite short compared to swim (who is over 6’), over a foot shorter even. At one moment in the night swim looked down at his friend and asked “Did you get shorter? I could have sworn you were taller before”. His friend laughed and said, “No, you’re just standing up straight, you’re usually hunched over”. This was one of the biggest epiphanies of the night for swim. After his friend said this his mind just clicked into perspective. He looked around, felt his posture and back with his mind, and realized that indeed, he was standing up straight. In fact he was standing up taller and straighter than he ever had in his life. He had totally forgotten about his size, and standing out, and being embarrassed, and what people thought of him, and every other social inhibition possible that had trapped his inherently social nature behind the generally emotionally closed veil of his face. He had let his emotions go free, and released himself from society’s judgements, and he never had felt better. Many other memories of that night flow back to swim from that night that add to the experience. Many interactions with friends and strangers sneak into his memory as he thinks back to that night, but he feels that I should stop the trip report here. The most important part has already been said. The roll was a ‘++++’ not only because of how spectacularly amazing the experience itself was, but also because of what it did for swim. It opened him up to the world and let him express himself to other people. He will never forget what mdma did for him and never will stop advocating its use as a medicinal psychological tool with immense potential. I have yet to have another ecstasy experience that matches this one. A few have come close, but nothing else could reproduce the revelations he had that one fateful night. A beautiful ‘++++’ experience that I will cherish forever.