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My Summer Slamming Meth....

Discussion in 'Methamphetamine' started by methMADMAN, Nov 28, 2006.

  1. methMADMAN

    methMADMAN Silver Member

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    So many of y'all may have met SWIM under another screen name I used to use here when I was researching recipes for making speed of various sorts. I didn't really research it for much more reason than to know, but I did get a good steady connection to some good "Ice" methamphetamine. I was able even to work for most of SWIM's dope so it didnt cost SWIM money. I started out "suckin the glass dick" or smoking SWIM's shit, effective but in hindsight pathetic. SWIM's friend of many years, an old school "Slammer" insisted one day SWIM hit the needle and reluctantly I did. This girl uses lightly compared to hardcore folks like SWIM and while it was cool I wasn't that impressed. SWIM continued mostly to smoke. Then I met a chick SWIM kinda had the hots for and she too was a slammer and soon I was off and running and getting good powerful hits that rocked SWIM's world. Soon I had no use for smoking except as a social habit. Long story short, this girl and I did a solid month long run with virtually no sleep. It was a HELLA intensely hellish comedown let me tell you. And at the end of the run I was psychotic and a raving lunatic, barely holding it together and having something of a mental collapse.

    SWIM laid off for a while but soon found SWIM's self slamming meth on weekends again. All summer long SWIM wore long sleeve flannels to hide SWIM's track marks. I was ok a while but SWIM began to decline into serious abuse again. I was slamming between 1/2 and 1 gram of the purest "Ice" I could get. SWIM's best hit was probably a near death experience as it was like I had run a marathon instantly as the taste of the huge gram+ load hit SWIM's taste buds. I think that night SWIM hit another gram a few hours later and whacked off to internet porn for like 12 hours until SWIM's dick had blisters......How productive huh?

    In the end the meth rage set in. I became and angry violent motherfucker, believe that! I didn't hurt anyone much fortunately but I was so close so many times and even after I had come down and been clean a while the anger and violence continued. SWIM beat up my car and was suicidal. I have only the grace of god and the love of SWIM's family and dearest friends to thank for SWIM's survival of this ordeal. In the end SWIM punched a woman SWIM loved (after she kicked SWIM in the face) but SWIM just didn't do that kind of thing, yet I did. A day later I was slamming tar heroin to get off meth and I got cotton fever and was so sick and weak the woman I did the meth with's daughter and a 73 year old man beat SWIM up (when I am well I could have taken them both one handed and SWIM shits you not). Long story short in one short summer meth cut SWIM down to size.

    In the end we all have our own paths in life, and SWIM can't say that anyone should not do meth, it's your choice and SWIM fully believes in people's right to do drugs and I am fully pro legalization. I do believe however that meth will in a long time or short take down 95% of anyone who fools with it too much. Bottom line is SWIM wanted to briefly share one man's personal experience that others might make of it what you will. I hope it will help someone someday at very least. SWIM am now trying to be clean and sober in those 12 step programs we've all heard of.....Good luck and god bless to all who dabble with the meth monster!
     
    Last edited: Dec 18, 2009
  2. methMADMAN

    methMADMAN Silver Member

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    Well freakin 7 goddamn long months later I am twitching and itching and brain damaged, arthritic, and in pain daily due to meth abuse....But still clean and FREE!!!! AA and NA do wonders.....the elevator to clean and sober time are broke take the steps!
     
  3. old hippie 56

    old hippie 56 Newbie

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    Good luck, the pain will go away in time.
     
  4. cyndi

    cyndi R.I.P. Silver Member

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    Swim here can really relate to your story. Meth is an insanity isn't it? Starts out just great till everything and everyone around you are hurting because of swim's little nasty habit. Boy the comedown, You nailed it. I would throw crap, become very ugly verbally to others, and other things she won't mention. Very very angry, just a rage one can't describe unless one has been there. Suicidal oh you bet. This is not a fun recreational drug that swiys make it out to be. They will learn. Unfortunately the hard way probably. I was doing some research on this as after 14 fucking years, I decided a little hit wouldn't hurt, ok tweaked out for the next 3 months, oh yeah bad decision. Cravings are back but after a month of abstaining it is getting better. Some really crazy dreams, but at least I amn't hating on everyone and everything any more. Arthritis oh yeah, it is worse, swim can barely move today. Was in agony last night. Anyway she was reading and the article said 20% of people in aa/na actually make it, encouraging right? 40% maybe if they go long term and keep to the meetings. Swim personally can't do the steps and is still looking into what helps. Also in that same article it said people with meth problems have a better chance to rid themselves of the disease than terminal cancer patients. Swim thought oh that is just freaking great. This was in Newsweek magazine, Swim forgot the month. Anyway keep fighting the good fight, meth is an evil drug. I am battling the beast with you.
     
  5. andibabi

    andibabi Newbie

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    wow, what a story... sounds very familiar. I has faught the needle demon for 9 years. slamming a thick-70 center of some really good shiznit, says it all really. makes mes stomach sick just thinkin' about it. swim never went to rehab, but she did go to a couple NA meetings w/ a friend. mostly, she did it all by herself. guess that's why she fell backwards more than a few times. good luck staying clean .... keep up the good willpower.

    "put the meth down, and step slowly away from your brain."
     
  6. Montya

    Montya Newbie

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    Sounds pretty intense If SWIM were to try slamming it!
     
  7. methMADMAN

    methMADMAN Silver Member

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    Thank God SWIM just celebrated 3 years clean on the 8th of this month! I am very proud of that and does still go to meetings. For each person there are other ways, and in the end each must find their own way, but it worked for SWIM. I do not ever want to forget. The guy who was running the meeting at the jail where I went to his first meeting clean and sober was SWIM's sponsor a while and is still SWIM's friend. I saw him at a meeting this morning and got his 3 year chip on the 8th too. Never forgetting the hell I went through, keeping it extremely vivid in the memory is very important to SWIM. Never forget the hell, never go back to it!

    BTW, SWIM's arthritic problems remain but almost all mental and emotional side effects have resolved. SWIM never felt more emotionally alive and mentally present and I am eternally grateful and wishes everyone who faces this demon all the best.