Please tell me your story of addiction.

Discussion in 'Family & friends' started by quashaia, Apr 14, 2005.

  1. quashaia

    quashaia Newbie

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    My name is Quashaia and Im trying to connect with others who are just like myself. I am the child of a drug abuser. My Mom is addicted to a very destructive drug. In fact the majority of my family is addicted to this drug. If they are not selling it, they're are using it. I have lived with the fact that my mom has been using of over 10 years. This hurts me very much but it doesn't stop me. I admit I want to break down and cry at times and I do because it helps me feel better.I registerd to this site so that I can talk to others who have possible gone through the some of the same experiences as myself. Eventially, I would like to compile my experences and document them using a video camera along withanyone's personal story if they'd be willing. If anyolne is interested in sharing their personal story please respond.
     
  2. Iggypoop

    Iggypoop Gold Member

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    My father is an Alcoholic and recovering now, he found god, had a near death experience, saw the light, all the love of the world pretty mad if you knew my father (biggest athiest around at one time). I've been through quite a lot but my father was a binge drinker so it was very on/off, if you need someone to talk to i'm on the forum all the time. I dont know if what i've been through could compare to whats happened to you but i'm always happy to lend a hand. pm me if its anything you don't want to talk about on the forum.


    iggy
     
  3. quashaia

    quashaia Newbie

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    Thank you for your response. And Im glad that your dad is doing the things that he needs to. My mom is somewhat like a binge drug user. Sometimes she's great and goes to work and comes home feeling fine. But there are times when she says she's going to do one thing and dont even come home that night. My mom is an alcoholic too and she still drinks. She says that shes got it undercontrol but I know her struggles too well to believe her. My mom and I are very close and when I cannot contact herI know just what shes doing.
     
  4. Iggypoop

    Iggypoop Gold Member

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    Sounds somewhat similar to my story, i've seen me dad going out for milk and come back 3 days later completely smashed! Once he drove into our garage door because he was so drunk he didn't see it (he was a policeman at the time- now retired- imagine)! There are so many stories like that which now when i look back on them make me laugh really hard, but at the time were not so funny.


    I used to believe my dad was just areallyselfish person and that he liked drinking because it when he was drunk he could express his emotions better and let off steam that he couldn't when sober. You see he is a really repressed person and will just not speak up when not happy, so the drink was an escape.


    I really hated him for a while and me and my mum kicked him out of the house, i don't regret hitting him and putting him out because i had to have a life of as well but i do regret hating him because it really wasn't his fault he has/had a lot of issues. He was a policeman during the 'troubles' in N.Ireland (haha you bloody americans funded that!) had seen his friends been blown and shot standing right next to him also my mum told me she thought he'd been abused as a child as well (he must have said something to her while drunk). To add to that only recently i found out he's notactually my biological father which he knew and had been keeping to himself through all the years.


    I've seen my dad go through all the drying out clinics there were in N.Ireland (every single one) and none of them helped him at all, he went but never really opened himself to them, he couldn't he had the emotional abilities of a small child! I watched him rock-bottom and fall even deeper but there wasn't anything i could do for him mainly because i loathed him and didn't understand him. Eventually he started seeing another woman (who i don't particularly like but am greatful to) she took him to church with her and he met some people who really greeted him with open arms and accepted him for what he was while trying to help him. He was great for a while but then he got really bad and had to be taken to hospital his liver was really really screwed up and he still tried to drink, he stopped long enough to get out of the hospital and went back to drink at his house. The people from the church came and sat around his bed scared he was dying and prayed for him. I'm an athiest but what happened next was truly amazing, he said he felt a great warmth all round him and could only see light and feel love (i thought maybe the church people had slipped him some E or ibogaine!) he said he'd never felt anything so amzing in his life and he came round and started to cry (he's never cried, ever). Usually the d/t's after drinking are enough to hospitalise him but this time he came round within a day!! For the next few weeks he went around on a complete natural high this gradually faded but he still felt good (he always had depression).


    Eventually i went to see him, i had just found out he wasn't my bio-dad (lol) and i thought seeing as he was feeling so good i wold see it while i could! When i got to the house we had a coffee and talked, he told me he was sorry for everything he had ever done to me and that he knew there was no way he could make it up to me. I told him i forgave him and told him that i knew he wasn't my bio-dad (lol, again) but that it didn't matter he was still my real father in my opinion and always would be. He started crying and so did i, we hugged and ever since then things have been all good.


    My dad now attends church (religeously, lol) and chairs the local alcoholics anon meetings (which is so weird if you knew him) and lends a hand wherever he can. He's a new man, unbelieveable i'm so greatfull for it. I still don't believe in god or anything like that but it worked for him so i try not to be sceptical (not to him anyhoo), it sounds like some sort of cheesy read-in-a-pamphlet sorta thing but it happened.


    The only advice i can give you is that you shouldn't hate your mother for it, you should embrace her, talk to her and love her because if she can let go of the baggage it will help so much, believe me.There can be light at the end of the tunnel, for my dad believing in something to give him a 'rock' as he would put it was all he needed.


    Well that was long winded (and prolly sounds really gay to all you macho, macho men out there) but its the truth, i hope this helps you Quashaia. Feel feel free to talk to me any time (here or otherwise).
     
  5. quashaia

    quashaia Newbie

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    thankyou so much for your thoughtful response. I see that our stories do have similar aspects. Adults with their issues, I used to ask myeslf, why cant they just be like kids. I am eighteen now and I have never felt so much pressure. I have pressure from school and college choices, boyfriend issues and on top of all that I have my mom and little sisters to worry about. I now see how things in life can over burden you. I was alwas so optimistic. I never believed for any second that my mother would never beat her habits. I still question that.