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Experiences - Psilocybin Mushroom Trip Reports (Thread No. 2)

Discussion in 'Magic Mushrooms (Psilocybe & Amanita)' started by Phungushead, Feb 9, 2010.

  1. Adas

    Adas Silver Member

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    22 y/o from Slovakia
    Saturday before this one was a very interesting experience. Ate 3.5g, shaking even before ingestion. Not the best, but I downed them. The discomfort at the beginning was very high. I couldn't relax, my body was shaking hard, very tense, blood pressure through the roof. Brief moments of relaxation were interrupted when my body started shaking again. Went on for quite some time.

    I've tried playing some music, laying down, but nothing worked well. Visuals were interesting, spaces were opening up. I have also heard what seemed like ancient humans practicing first language. Repetitive simple half-words and such. No surprise that mind-deconstructing drugs would deconstruct language as well.

    Then I've tried turning on Orchestral music. Seemed to be the most relaxing thing I could come up with. I sat up with my back touching the wall and closed my eyes. The visuals started diminishing. Felt as if they were "running out" - until finally, they DID run out. I was just seeing dark and hearing the most mindblowingly beautiful orchestral music of my life. Body dissociation was potent, the last thing I was feeling was my breath. I knew that for ego death, I need to let go of that, too. So I did and it felt like I stopped breathing. No body sensation existed anymore. I thought about my ex and imagined being at an orchestral concert with her. Realized how the simple things in life can be very profound.

    Music has never touched my soul as greatly as in these moments. I felt my heart was completely pure. So pure that I felt unconditional love for everyone. I started crying really hard. I no longer existed, but my consciousness calmly observed the happening - my body moving and crying, thoughts. The conscious awareness was the Witness - without any attachment to my body or mind. Completely calm and wise. I was him and realized it's what Jesus was describing. Suddenly, I was the Path, Truth and Life. It is ME, and so is everyone else. The God is within us - and it's best perceivable when we lose everything we've had. Then we realize that not having anything is such a bliss. Being neutralized - dead, is so effortless. No dreams, no disappointments, just being.

    When I've died, the hallucinations have died. Similarly, when we die all of our illusions are washed away and the Absolute Truth will set us free.

    After that beautiful peak experience has ended, I wanted it to come back, but it couldn't. I have felt so extremely exhausted that I could hardly move, had arrythmias and just wanted to sleep. Thought about my family, it got pretty emotional at times. I also took a shower. I wanted to get grounded quickly, so I've grabbed some leftover J├Ągermeister and after the first drink I have already felt better. Much more grounded, blurry vision was gone and exhaustion was gone. I have finished the evening by chatting with people and enjoyed it very much.

    I felt like I have understood how consciousness actually works. It's like a wave. Up and down, oscillating around zero. The sum always has to be zero, but it's the oscillation that makes consciousness, that makes life. By having a dream or desire, we are automatically, at the same time, creating the possibility for that thing to happen. You can't force a puzzle piece to where there's no place for it. When you get something you didn't desire, it won't excite you very much. On the other hand, when your expectations are accurately fulfilled, you become very happy. That's because you've created the place for it. Life is constant movement. Our experience shapes our desires, and at the same time our desires shape our experiences. It's like wind - being both pushed and pulled by itself. There are no empty spaces in consciousness - unless to be immediately filled by something. And filling them creates more gaps, which are then filled, etc.

    That was my first full mystical experience, first proper ego death. Hard on the body because of all the tension, but worth it for the mind.

    Happy trippin everyone.