So, I'm an opiate junkie... Who knew?

Discussion in 'Opiate & Opioid addiction' started by bonkers419, Jan 30, 2006.

  1. bonkers419

    bonkers419 Newbie

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    Ya, so, I'm an opiate junkie... Who knew? Not me. I had no clue I was a junkie when I first tried oxycontin about 10 months ago. I traded a dime bag of weed for a 40mg pill. I didn't even know what oxycontin was at the time. Without delay, I crushed it up with my lighter, chopped it a bit with my bank card, rolled a bill up and hooted the whole in a second.

    Oh, what a f*cking rush. Nothing will ever compare with that first time. I sat back on the couch with a huge grin on my face as after a moment I was hit with a f*cking freight train of euphoria. This is what I always imagined what people meant when they shot up heroin. The f*cking rush! Oh my god, everything was just fine with me for the next few moments.

    After the rush died down, I was certainly buzzed unlike ever before. I began to drive to my girlfriend's house. On the way, I started feeling nauseous and actually had to rush to the bathroom upon arrival, at which point I definitely hurled.

    The rest of that night is foggy, but since then it's been a f*cking mission to me. Retrieving opiates, doing opiates, finding money for opiates. Since that night of OC, I've done morphine, fentanyl, heroin, Roxycontin, and more OC whenever I can get my hands on it. It's f*cking up my life big time and I'm drowning in debt. I've done all the stereotypical things to score: lying, stealing, borrowing money left and right. It's not pleasent and it's going to blow up in my face soon, I know it.

    Right now I'm miserable because it's been 4 days since any opiates. I had some heroin last Thursday, and now I'm feeling like shit. I hate withdrawal, but I know it's for the best. If not to quit, but to lower my tolerance so I don't have to spend as much when I score next. If you'd like to read more about this self-torture, feel free to read my blog. Link below.

    http://bonkers419.blogspot.com/

    P.S. This is one f*cked up smiley. :snort: (in more ways than one)
     
  2. raven3davis

    raven3davis R.I.P. Palladium Member R.I.P.

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    Not good mate! SWIM wishes you the best of luck. He has never experienced opiate addiction but hears it is the worst. If you have gone 4 days try to go longer. You will have to eventually stop taking these drugs or they will eventually bite you in the ass harder than they ever kissed you on the cheek.
     
  3. bonkers419

    bonkers419 Newbie

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    Thanks for responding. Let me tell you, it sucks when you're trying to quit and your girl calls you up, saying she just got $100 from her mom and wanting me to see if we can get something for tonight. Although I did call my dude(yes, I know I'm weak :(), he was on his way out of town, so it was a no-go. Lucky, I guess. I'm really feeling a lot better. The physical withdrawal is much less evident on the 4th day as compared to the 2nd or 3rd.

    Anyways, I really need to have a talk with my girl and get some sh*t sorted out.

    Peace.
     
  4. Motorhead

    Motorhead Platinum Member & Advisor

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    Ya if you got 4 days in might as well take it all the way, since you dont seem to be enjoying yourself anymore. I mean sure drugs feel good, but once you get to a point of self realization where overall youre making yourself feel like crap and you're bemoaning your situation you might as well stop.

    In my experience this never works, its kind of an opiate addicts pipe dream. Anyway, good luck with whatever you do.

    PS: o ya find out who I am. he's kinda cool in a 3rd person sort of way. lets not incriminate ourselves.
     
  5. PumaT

    PumaT Newbie

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    It sucks to see your Girl when you´re WTDing, you think you need it for obvius reasons dont you? Well, I do, I am on his 2nd day off, and it sucks a little bit, but feeling hope is what swims try to feel, motivation about all he will actually begin to do after this wears off.
     
  6. Devotchka

    Devotchka Newbie

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    SWIM's been goin through the same exact shit for like the past 4 years now. Within that time period SWIM quit himself cold turkey once for 5 months then relapsed and then quit cold turkey again for 2 weeks...then relapsed again. Last week I went to his parents for help and told em everything and is now goin to get treatment like subs or something. I have never felt better because the shit just ain't worth it. Just stick to quitting. There's no winning this game. It's serious stuff. Opiates/heroin will beat you to a pulp till theres nothin left. SWIM almost OD'd like 4-5 times and is lucky to be alive. I want life back. Once you admit it, it isn't that hard. But that's just My opinion. SWIM wishes you luck and hopes you make it through.
     
  7. qckid704

    qckid704 Newbie

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    Opiate addiction is hell and heaven at the same time. But with much more hell than the heavenly side of it. If i were in ur position i would definitely quit while ur ahead because the deeper u dig ur own grave the harder it is to climb out. Best of luck to ya mate.
     
  8. BeGone

    BeGone Newbie

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    So I finally said enough, and hopefully i can kick it for good this time... Started taking suboxone yesterday.. Took more than I did last time I came off Roxie, granted I used more than I ever did... Roxie's are ruining my life... I just don't know how long I should stay on subs? I'm so scared of withdrawing.. Sweats and chills are in full force.. Nose is running, legs I wanna rip off and the aches aren't as bad cause of the subs.. Anyone know how long I should take subs for?
     
  9. mr sic

    mr sic R.I.P. Silver Member

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    Hi BeGone,
    Welcome to the forum, you can find tons of information on using suboxone for a taper by utfse- using the forum search engine, Heres a link for a pretty common quick taper https://drugs-forum.com/threads/110371?highlight=suboxone+taper

    Everybodys a little different, so whats comfortable for one might not be for you, theres plenty of other taper threads, if you find one doesnt work to good for you.

    Good luck and congratulations on deciding to kick your habit, its tough but you can get through it.
     
  10. andylondon1981

    andylondon1981 Newbie

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    I hate withdrawal, but I know it's for the best. If not to quit, but to lower my tolerance so I don't have to spend as much when I score next.

    Bro stick to the WD, just stick with it, lowering your tolerance is your brain kust making sure that you still continue using, its playin tricks on you!!!!! Just stick with the Withdrawals mate

    good luck
     
  11. BeGone

    BeGone Newbie

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    On my second night of this hell... One site said to leave a tablet near you so you can be on forums for support... This is terrible! Even worse that people are calling me saying they're good if I have to see them.. I'm trying to avoid the phone.. I want to rip my legs off and sweats and chills are worse now.. Subs aren't working as good as they did..

    BeGone added 850 Minutes and 6 Seconds later...

    Okay. I'm on the third day.. Last night was bad.. Rls is in full effect and have a bad headache coming on. Chills are worse today.. Sub isn't working like it should
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2013
  12. cika0

    cika0 Newbie

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    You aren't taking enough Sub.. I know many addicts who went clean with subs pain/dt free. Try maybe a small dose of benzos or maybe colonodine. Benzos an subs can be badi
    news
     
  13. westie420uk

    westie420uk Silver Member

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    ^^ Yeah as cika0 says you are not taking a high enough dose. You should take enough to feel comfortable., if you are still feeling dope sick then up your dose. The last thing you want to happen is to start thinking that the subs are not working & end up using.

    As this thread was started back in 2016 by bonkers419 you might want to start your own thread documenting you detox. I wish you all the best with it, don't give up & use if things start to get to you, what is a week or so of discomfort out of your lifetime?
    I have just reduced from 29ml to 26ml of methdone & i'm coming down 3ml a month. It was hard at first (started at 40ml) but then i started seeing a girl in mid dec & it has made it so much easier! I totally have no desire to use at all, i would rather spend my money on a nice meal for the 2 of us or buy the ingredients for cheesecake & make one (serves 9, but apart from one small slice the 2 of us demolished it in the course of 1 night)
    Just try to find something to fill your day up & keep from getting board. Obviously kicking is not very nice, but that is the easy part. Staying off it keeping away from it is the hard bit. Especially if most of your friends still use & you live in an area where its easy to find. Where i live i can get 3 people to drop it off & i'm withing a half hour walk from around 8-10 dealers. I can't do anything about where i live, but i have stopped seeing my old friends that still use & i have changed my phone number so they, or any of my old dealers, can get a hold of me. Its easy (for me) to now stay away & not think about using, but i don't know how i would react if a friend offered to give me a bag if i scored for him or if a dealer called to offer me a tester.
    Good luck with the detox & remember we are all here to help & support you.
     
  14. BeGone

    BeGone Newbie

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    I ran out of subs, was searching my bag for them and came across two little devils. I wound up taking them. Next morning, I went out and got a bunch of subs so I would have them. Anyway, I'm back on day 2, almost 3.. I feel terrible that I used.. My bf thought I had the a bug, especially cause I went to see my dad a few days before and he had it... He obviously doesn't know... I upped my dose of subs, first day, I took about 12mg... Same thing yesterday, I'm ok right now... Later I'm going to try just taking 8mg..
    And thank you Westie, I will start my own thread.. I'm new to this site so ill figure it all out.. Hope this works... Want to start my life over... I'm avoiding everyone cause they're everywhere... Figures I'm in the borough with the highest number of these things!