Starting to hate all things shrooms

Discussion in 'Magic Mushrooms (Psilocybe & Amanita)' started by GanjalfTheBaked, Feb 28, 2018.

  1. GanjalfTheBaked

    GanjalfTheBaked Newbie

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    i'll get right down to it. about 4 hours ago i took 30 grams of magic truffles in the form of tea, if i was properly informed they had the potency of a dose of 6g of average shrooms. as always i could feel the restlessness and anxiety creep up on me accompanied by changes in perspective. things started losing their meaning, the english words on my screen were just squiggles to me. i could not connect the meaning to the words i was seeing.
    like every trip there was this ''empty'' feeling in me, with slight nausea, like the opposite of the butterflies in your belly that you get from MDMA. it felt as though my whole consciousness was being pulled into a sort of ''trance'', every time i exhaled, i felt this body load which would relax all my muscles and ''pull'' me to the ground. very similar to DMT. for some reason i associate that empty, trancey feeling with ''poison'' in my mind.
    so as the trip progresses, its no different than usual, only now i really try to focus on what i'm feeling and describe to myself what these sensations feel like.
    i had this constant cold feeling. i was wrapped in a thick blanket in my room with the heater on full blast. it felt like i was cold on the inside and i was sooo close to reaching that feeling of warmth, but could never quite achieve it.
    there was this constant feeling of agitation, i could feel that there was euphoria in there somewhere, but it was being kept from me, like i was being taunted. to try to put it into words - it felt like somebody holding a hot steaming bowl of fresh rice in front of a starving african child and throwing him a single grain every now and then.
    the psylocybin was making me want things i didnt even want in the first place, but then completely counteracting that with a sense of disinterest. i was constantly fighting a battle in my mind of wanting things, but then not wanting things. i thought to myself hey i should go listen to some music, this thought was accompanied by a slight sense of euphoria, but almost simultaneously i was disinterested in music, accompanied by a sense of dysphoria. these feelings were too strong for me to enjoy the trip.
    i was fed up with this at one point and just wanted it to be over, out of pure annoyance. so i ended up having a wank, smoking a cigarette and cracking open a beer to ground myself and get me back to reality.
    this constant taunting and messing with me has got me disliking everything shrooms, maybe they're not for me.
    anybody notice similar feelings on magic mushies?
    was the dosage the problem? i was uncomfortable throughout most of the trip, but i never got scared or panicky about the things i felt or saw. i was in full control on that aspect
     
  2. Josh Carlton

    Josh Carlton Titanium Member

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    That's a pretty high dose of mushrooms - if you do decide to use mushrooms again, you may want to try lowering the dose. Lower doses of mushrooms tend to have a very playful, euphoric feeling to them, for me personally, whereas higher doses can have a more serious tone. Independent of dosage, I almost always get some anxiety on the come-up, but become increasingly euphoric during the peak, and then the come-down is very euphoric and even empathogenic in a way.

    The only times I didn't get this sort of natural-feeling, playful euphoria, was on a dose of 7 grams. This trip had a much more serious, introspective mood, during which I evaluated a lot of aspects of my life and decided to institute some major changes (once my mental faculties had returned to a degree where I could do so...). The trip wasn't uncomfortable, per se, but it was challenging in that during the come down I was forced to confront the parts of myself that I didn't like. It was certainly one of the most meaningful and useful mushroom trips I've had, but more of a Type 2 fun than a Type 1 fun.
    Here's a definition of that: Type 2 is a strange beast, because it isn't actually fun at the moment. In fact, it feels much like suffering. It's only after the event, and in reflection, that you come to realize you actually had fun.
    It is difficult at the time, but upon later reflection, you realize the value of the experience and come to look upon the memory fondly.

    I've never had the specific feeling that you describe of constant taunting and messing with you.

    Have you considered that the issue was that you were not willing to go where the shrooms wanted you to go? You seem to have gone into the trip hoping for euphoria, and you feel the need to mention that you maintained control. Do you feel that things would have been different if you had had different expectations or goals for the trip, or had tried to direct it toward euphoria less?

    Ultimately, high doses of psychedelics aren't really the drug for you if you want euphoria. High doses of psychedelics are valuable for intense introspection and exploration of oneself - which at times can be quite uncomfortable.

    If you do want to use mushrooms again, I'd suggest either taking a lower dose, or adjusting your expectations for the experience.

    How much experience did you have with mushrooms before this?
     
  3. torn2bits

    torn2bits Titanium Member

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    6 dehydrated grams?
    I always use dehydrated grams,it the only way to estimate others common dosages.
    At 5+ my body loads to much with out taking something to calm down.
    At 3.5 it's much better and less punishing for me.
     
  4. Adas

    Adas Silver Member

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    I always feel uncomfortable after taking them, but the calmer I am the sooner it goes away. I frequently have bad feelings, not like you describe, but my mind feels shattered and I dont like it. At higher dosage it's at least trippy and you can lose yourself a bit. Less than 2g might just make you feel uncomfy and messed up.
     
  5. torn2bits

    torn2bits Titanium Member

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    Something else that helped me with body load was grinding the dehydrated mushroom, putting them in tea bags and making a big glass of warm tea with similar doses.
    I got less body load drinking tea than consuming the mushroom.
    Honestly that was a game changer for me.
    Best to ya~ToRn
     
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