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Surviving Christmas and New Year without drinking : support thread.

Discussion in 'Alcohol addiction' started by Dickon, Dec 12, 2009.

  1. Dickon

    Dickon

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    I thought I'd start a thread since the Christmas season is upon us once again, and I think this can be one of the hardest times of the year for those of us choosing not to drink or trying to stop or moderate our alcohol use.

    I'm not sure exactly if anyone will find this thread useful, but I for one will not be drinking this Christmas. All the wine, mulled and otherwise will be something that I'll miss to some degree. I know whenever I'm not drinking at a gathering, although I may feel I'm missing out initially, come the end of the evening I'm the smug bastard who is not going home with a bad head.

    Are there any other people on here who are also planning on staying sober over this period. Can we offer each other support in some way or another?

    All best wishes to everyone

    Dickon
     
  2. Stradivarius

    Stradivarius Silver Member

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    Re: Surviving Christmas without drinking : support thread.

    A non-alcohol themed kind of party could help. Because a large table full of people who drink ( even more than usual cause of the holidays) won't help a recovering alcoholic.Also surviving new year can be even harder.
    I know it's not traditional but try making some unique type of teas and non-alcoholic beverages that are interesting enough to keep one from drinking booze.Also, if one is ok with smoking a hookah is a very social activity.
     
  3. Hey :-)

    Hey :-)

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    Re: Surviving Christmas without drinking : support thread.

    Every time Swim finishes a bottle of vodka she feels like shit for being such a failure . She doesnt even drink everyday anymore , and not as much , so it should be easier , but she still cant kick it . Swim has been struggling with moderation for so long , and isnt looking forward to christmas . Swim drinks alone . Swim hates alcohol and wishes she never relied on it in the first place when life took another crap turn .
    Swims gone from one drug to another to AD's to alcohol for most of her life . Swim would plan for a sober christmas but is scared of another failure :(
    Swim thinks this is a kind thread
     
  4. Hey :-)

    Hey :-)

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    Re: Surviving Christmas without drinking : support thread.

    Swims changed her mind . She's doing her first christmas sober / no drugs . She's sick of going from one chemical to another . She's sick of living in the past . She's sick of being afraid to feel anything remotely negative .
    Swim believes in possibilities .
     
  5. Dickon

    Dickon

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    Re: Surviving Christmas without drinking : support thread.

    That's excellent news. I wish you all the best. I'm probably (maybe in a hypothetical dream) going to end up making mulled wine and buying champagne without drinking anything. It's a bit annoying, but I think it's only one more adjunct to the whole Christmas being a bit stressful with the family coming over scenario. If everyone was teetotal it would probably be just as difficult.

    I really must try not to be a Grinch, but sometimes I'd rather just put my head under the duvet and wake up in January.

    How do you think you're going to cope with out drugs or drink?

    All best wishes

    Dickon
     
  6. Abrad

    Abrad R.I.P.

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    Re: Surviving Christmas without drinking : support thread.

    I will be avoiding all psychoactives with the exception of prescribed medications this Christmas, New Year and for the foreseeable future. I'm not really daunted as I don't plan on attending any social gatherings this Christmas, so temptation should be quite easily avoided.
     
  7. cyndi

    cyndi R.I.P.

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    Re: Surviving Christmas without drinking : support thread.

    Yeah sober so far, Christmas is 2 days away, swim will get thru it.
     
  8. Nature Boy

    Nature Boy Silver Member

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    Re: Surviving Christmas without drinking : support thread.

    Although SWIM isn't intent on staying sober this Yuletide, big ups to those that are fighting the booze because he realises what a difficult thing to do this is. SWIM's been drinking pretty-much every day for the past week and it's taking it's toll. Last night he stayed up 'til six in the morning drinking whiskey and beer. He feels a little bit drained today but inevitably he'll be joining up with friends for the annual Christmas Eve drinks at their watering hole.

    So my encouragement goes to those avoiding the bottle but it also goes to those who just want to have a few drinks and enjoy the festive cheer without becoming a drunken mess in the process.
     
  9. Hey :-)

    Hey :-)

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    Re: Surviving Christmas without drinking : support thread.

    Thank you .
    Swims not too sure how she'll cope , but she thinks how she thinks will make a difference . So , if she cant think in a way that helps , she'll not think and spend the whole damn day meditating if she has to .
    She's not expecting shaking or heavy sweating , she did this a while ago and has managed to struggle with moderating since .
    She really isnt too sure what to expect , but is feeling anxious already (she's actually in day two/three) She's not at the stage where she's going to fit or anything . Swims ran out of bloody inhailors too and cant even have a cig because her breathings not too good .
    Swim doesnt have friends here , and her contact is away for christmas . Its just Swim and her children and her anxiety right now .
    Swims keeping in the moment .

    Swiy do well you know . Swiy'r posts show an introspection and modesty .
    Whats a Grinch ?
     
  10. Dickon

    Dickon

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    Re: Surviving Christmas without drinking : support thread.

    All good Hey. A Grinch is some fictional character who is a miserable bastard over the Christmas season.

    I hadn't really thought about turning the festive season into a meditation retreat, but it's not such a bad idea. I managed 2 hours zazen (seated Zen meditation) today, and have done 2 hours for 3 of the last 4 days, which is a lot for me, as I usually do an hour a day. I've enjoyed doing a second hour in the evening the days I have done it. My hips are usually that little bit less stiff in the evening that makes cross-legged sitting easier. I also hope, somewhat paradoxically, that the next couple of days without any yoga might make me more flexible! Last time I had a break from yoga I was ill in bed for a week or so, and when I came back to Yoga I could do a lot of poses more easily. We probably all need a break one in a while.

    So, I've been going through feelings since (in a hypothetical dream) I've been buying booze ready for tomorrow, and marginally resenting my own self-enforced abstinence. I just haven't had that many alcohol-based social engagements this last year or so. I remember 11 years ago I was a regular pub-goer/clubber when I didn't drink and it didn't bother me. I'd get approached by people saying "What are you on? Can I have some?" to which I'd truthfully reply "nothing". I was into my dancing at the time and, for those that have seen my profile pictures might know, I smile a lot.

    Nothing really useful to add except to remember that if you are with drinkers, focus on that moment of smug self-satisfaction when they are coming down and you are still sober. I will miss mulled ale or wine though.

    Stay strong everyone, and have a great day. Don't get too much into the whole "bah humbug" Scroogy Grinchism I am so desperately trying to avoid myself!

    All the best

    D
     
  11. Hey :-)

    Hey :-)

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    Re: Surviving Christmas without drinking : support thread.

    Will Swiy miss ''mulled ale and red wine'' as much if you replace the words with ''alcohol addiction'' ? :)

    Thanks for the support tonight . Swims got a bit of a grip of things at the moment .. actually , wrapping a few presents up on the floor and standing on the selotape changed things

    Happy Christmas Dickon + family
     
  12. Hey :-)

    Hey :-)

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    Re: Surviving Christmas without drinking : support thread.

    Swim did christmas day sober . Her girls reckon they had the best christmas ever which was good . She had one major wave of grouchyness , burning up and sweating she wasnt expecting . She couldnt think what to do at the time , she couldnt have meditated at this point , she felt like smashing the kitchen up , but that wasnt an option so she peeled potatoes like a maniac . When the girls went to bed she cried but she doesnt know why , she should have been happy .
    Today she feels like shit . She keeps breaking out in a sweat , a bit shaky , her mind seems locked onto the corner shop that sells alcohol (she knows its open) .
    The worst part of things is the mental torment . She cant even remember why she ever wanted to stop drinking now . Its not like she's on a litre a day .
    She does however recognise this as addictive mental reasoning . But recognising this doesnt make it any better . This is crap
    Shes also realized that some of her own advice just doesnt work when when shes feeling like this .
    And what happens new year ?? Ok , christmas was for the girls , but new year .. Swim thinks thats for the adults . And Swim wants to do a little coke , a few drinks and some mdma . (although if she knew it was possible to get high on life , she'd go for it) . She doesnt need to do crazy amounts , she's never needed to . She hasnt had any for a few months and has always enjoyed music , and that magic connection with people , and dancing , and and and .. does she really want to spend the rest of her life sober or drug free ?
    Swim doesnt know what she's trying to achieve in this post , she's confused .
    Swim is giving her relatively new sub woofer some exercise though , it likes acid trance .
    Swim doesnt know what to do

    Hey :) added 41 Minutes and 4 Seconds later...

    Swims got a grip again . Fk the shop , she's going to do boxing day sober too . The suns come out here and it always makes such a difference to Swim .
    Swims realized to be wary of confusion !
    Hope things are going well with everyone
     
    Last edited: Dec 26, 2009
  13. cyndi

    cyndi R.I.P.

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    Re: Surviving Christmas without drinking : support thread.

    Sobriety just sucks at this moment. Yeah swim was chemical free. Her son died as she said a few months back so she got a stupid idea to try to get in touch with her estranged kids to first let them know about their brother. Well they didn't care to know of him. What the hell is wrong with people? Sure hate swim, she doesn't care, but that is their brother. Then they let her know yeah we knew he died. WTF? Swim can't post of this anymore. Christmas was basically aweful. Sobriety oh goodness isn't this ever a test.
     
  14. Dickon

    Dickon

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    Re: Surviving Christmas without drinking : support thread.

    Well, I survived Christmas with (hypothetically in a dream) a worst sin of a little bit of brandy butter and sauce on my mince pies. I drew the line at not eating foods with alcohol in them or using mouthwash, although I know some AA members are fastidious about these kind of things.

    Can't say I was in the best of festive moods. It's felt like a latter-day mild dose of PAWS (post-acute withdrawal syndrome). For those that don't know, cat quit opiates (and everything else) 14+ months ago. I've been feeling a bit lethargic, and anti-social. I'm not sure though, it could just be a less than perfect self-protection mechanism for the stress of family interaction and playing host for Christmas dinner. Anyway, I've been trying to keep it together, and have avoided being particularly unpleasant, simply I have failed to be especially pleasant. Then again this could in part be that I am quite empathic in that I pick up on moods, and I could be mirroring other people's feelings. Who knows?

    I've also had a lot of noise in my head: negative things to say about the world and so on, which is somewhat unusual, at least to such an extent. Zazen has helped with this, and oddly there's a sense of presence I've been gaining in my sitting recently. I'm no longer waiting for half an hour to be up to stretch my legs and there's a gently increasing sense of focus. I only mention this because it seems at odds with the whole unfocused rather petulant head I've also had on. All in all it's good. It feels like something is being stirred up, either physically or psychically, and I'm hoping when the dust settles, some progress will have been made.

    Anyway, I'm changing the title of this thread to include the new year, as that's another danger time for people. For us, we've got our nice neighbours coming over, who I really like, and this is something I'm looking forward to, and think the only pressure for new year's eve is managing to stay up until midnight and beyond. I rather like my early nights. I suppose getting up for 7 o'clock Zen, 7.15 Qi Gong and 7.15 Yoga on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays has me conditioned to early rising. And let's not forget the (nearly) 3 month old new baby and the meowing cat!

    All the best to everyone

    Dickon
     
  15. Hey :-)

    Hey :-)

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    Re: Surviving Christmas without drinking : support thread.

    Cyndi , do Swiy have support from anyone at the moment ?

    Swims decided to continue this no drinking , no drugs thing . Are Swiy up for thinking about it too ? It feels like crap .. lets keep going ?

    Swim isnt going to bang on about recreational use of this or that anymore . She's decided that that part of her life is over .

    Swim decided to drop cigs aswell today and keeps overheating . Swims not too sure how this has happened or if she's making sense now because she cant think very well , but she knows somehow she is on the right track to where she should be heading .

    Sending love Cyndi , try go easy on Swiyself ok !

    Hey :) added 15 Minutes and 13 Seconds later...

    Swim wondered how Swiy were dealing with things over chistmas day . Being neither overly pleasant nor unpleasant sounds like quite a balanced achievement considering where Swiy were 14 months previous ??

    Swim cant think too straight right now (no cigs or alcohol) so please excuse her .

    Hey :) added 947 Minutes and 27 Seconds later...

    Swim caved in on the smoking front just now :( , maybe she should do one thing at a time , or maybe thats an excuse , she's not sure . She only lasted around 24 hours on that one . Whatever nicotine does to adrenalin/cortisol (not too sure which one) , Swim can feel it , its unpleasant . She also heard that ringing in ears thing for a minute or two (blood pressure change ?) She thinks that smoking regularly may just make her used to/not notice this . Swim seems to be able to think again .

    Still , Swims bang on target with the no alcohol . She went the shop for cigs and didnt want to buy a drink today . It feels pretty good , and Swim would like to let others know that there is peace after alcohol . She's had a glimps of it .
    Swim thinks that maybe failure is not trying at all ? So on both fronts , she hasnt failed , and neither has anyone else here .
     
    Last edited: Dec 27, 2009
  16. hh339

    hh339 Gold Member

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    Having an alcoholic wife, I sure know about the anxiety that comes with christmas and new years eve. With antabuse (disulfiram) at hand drinking can be avoided, or at least be highly undesirable after just a tiny amount of alcohol.

    Other then that, supporting eachother in every way possible is not a bad idea. If there are children present, that may also be a good reason for staying sober. I decided to stay away from alcohol and drugs a while back and it's not very hard, but it's tricky around christmas!

    My strategy is: Eat so much food that I get sick and fall into a food-coma and sleep it all away.
     
  17. Hey :-)

    Hey :-)

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    hh339 , Swim hope Swiy'r christmas went as well as it could have for Swiy and Swiy'r family and that Swiy managed to be awake for some of it ?

    Swims gp didnt prescribe her antabuse , and Swims pretty sure she just wouldnt have taken it for fear of wanting a drink too much after she had taken it .

    Swim doesnt believe that she is powerless in regard to alcohol , although at times she has felt that way .

    Swims had a pretty crap day but is still on track regarding not drinking .. just .

    Swim wishes everyone well

    ok , Swims going to listen to some uplifting music to try lift her mood . Or is this just another form of escape ??
     
    Last edited: Dec 28, 2009
  18. Hey :-)

    Hey :-)

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    Swim doesnt know if she can cope with this anymore . Swim has suffered from depression and anxiety since she was very young (from before she did any drugs/alcohol) and its getting worse again . She desparately doesnt want to go back on AD's as major decisions she made when she came off them will all have been in vain .
    Also , she wants to be able to rely on herself alone for once in her wasted life .
    She's sick of being constantly tired , and struggling to cope with even normal things like doing the housework , shopping , even leaving the house hasnt been easy lately .
    If she was her own pet , out of kindness , she'd have her put down . Seriously , its been too long battling this .
    Swim spent part of yesturday trying not to cry infront of her girls . She's on the verge of it again today . She also hates these damn inhailors she must use , they play up her anxiety . Smoking must stop too at some point , its a nightmare .
    Swim still isnt drinking , about a week now , but finding things tough . If she had no children , and could press a button now for it all to be over , she would .
    Swims going to do today sober regardless .
    love to all
    Hey x

    Hey :) added 110 Minutes and 21 Seconds later...

    Swim cant do this anymore .
    She's so sorry for not being able to help anyone out of this intangible fucking hellhole .
    She just cant do it .
     
    Last edited: Dec 30, 2009
  19. MiMoMo

    MiMoMo

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    Deserved accolades to the most engaging stagename ever, dear Hey:-! And if Hey (*_^) was my pet, out of appreciation, I'd give her oodles of her favorite treats & toys.
     
    Last edited: Dec 30, 2009
  20. Hey :-)

    Hey :-)

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    Bless you x
    Thank you for replying
    Swim caved in . She's not messy , but she's not sober .
    She's alone and resisting the urge to do methedrone tomorrow night (not difficult , she's a bit of a hippie that saw nothing wrong in old fashioned cocaine , proper pills/mdma and a thumping sound system .. but that was years ago when things were different .
    Although she suffers from anxiety (often with unusual triggers) , her biggest treat right now , oddly enough , would be a really fast ride on the back of a hayabusa :)
    When her brother was alive , she thought she would like to learn to ride a bike . She got on his GT500 (old suzuki) and got to second gear before freaking out and forgetting whether she had to go up or down with the gears .. she clutched , braked and stopped and was promptly taken off of his bike .
    Not long after , she got a H100 (this is going back some years) , but felt she had to rev it too much and kept stalling it . Maybe she would have felt different if she knew how to ride a bike ? .. That bike went .
    Then she got a triple KH250 . That needed a little work , but her brother died before finishing it for her to learn on . She couldnt keep that one .
    Anyway , Swims waffling like an idiot now , so , thanks for looking by MIMOMO xx

    Hey :) added 169 Minutes and 14 Seconds later...

    Swims back in the shitpit . How the hell does anyone get out of here ??
    And out of here to what ?? the erruption of 40 years repressed bs drama crap ??
    Its a lose/lose situation . How on earth is anyone ment to find the motivation to keep feeling like they want to die ?
    Swims not angry at you guys , she's angry at herself , and angry at the fact that she didnt ask to be born .
    Swim is aware that she's being totally self centered right now , and tbh , doesnt give a flying fk .
    Would someone whose had a TOTALLY shit life , and managed to quit alcohol please tell her it is possible .. and worth it .

    Hey :) added 305 Minutes and 8 Seconds later...

    Ok . Swims got over herself and realizes she could have had a worse life than she did actually .
    And even now , she's not starving in a third world country , watching her children die of malaria .
    Swim needs to try keeping things in perspective , somehow .

    So , Swims getting up again and this time she's going to stop the drinking and smoking and caffeine together . She thinks she may have been using the 'one at a time' arguement as an excuse .

    She's going to make herself go food shopping tomorrow . As much as she hates leaving the house at the moment , and thinks she just cant do it , she knows that if there was a million pounds cheque waiting for her , she would get there .. that means she must be capable .

    She's also found something interesting that may help with the smoking thing . Well , somewhere else on DF she was reading how nicotine suppresses MAO-A/B by around 30/40 % ? which would leave more seratonin/dopamine available . So , she needs more seratonin/dopamine to make up for the resulting rise in MAO when she stops smoking . Actually , she could do with more seratonin and dopamine anyway .(she's not sure if other addictions effect MAO or not btw) . She isnt good with tyrosine and doesnt think 5-HTP is the best thing for her (she's slightly up and down type depressed) , so she found soy milk is good for tryptophan (should have less than the pills) , and she found that broad beans contain L-Dopa .
    She hopes she doesnt have to eat a kilo though .

    She going to get some camomile tea to relax a bit .

    Swim is sorry for her tantrum earlier :(
     
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2009