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Culture - Things you regret you ve done drunk out of your mind (Comedy Edition)

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by Alien Sex Fiend, Jul 25, 2015.

  1. Alien Sex Fiend

    Alien Sex Fiend Silver Member

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    Not at once \/ over the hectic years

    - Pissed on a mouse
    - Punched a mirror Heroin Bob style
    - Puked in the trash and mice ate chunks
    - Was kicked out of a church for drinking a beer, got told its not a bar
    - Got married (no kidding i was on Las Vegas binge through the whole process)
    - Was banned from a library for watching porn on their computer (homeless years)

    Let me snuffle my brains, there is tons more
     
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2015
  2. Potatosaladandpeas

    Potatosaladandpeas Newbie

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    Shit in a kitty litter tray
    Shit in a urinal trough for a dare
    Pissing in barbeque from second floor window
    Eating dog food
    Plus some more
     
  3. Typical East St. Louis

    Typical East St. Louis Silver Member

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    Jumped off a staircase and broke my ankle
    Have driven drunk before but luckily have not hurt anyone (please don't ever do this)
    Got thrown out of a bar recently for reasons unknown - I blacked out and don't remember
    Unprotected sex several times
     
  4. michael523

    michael523 Silver Member

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    Through hot coffee at lady on train while smoking and drinking. Totally out of character for me. Drink brings out the worst in behavior.
     
  5. renacer

    renacer Silver Member

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    Slept with a girl my friend liked (and who I didn't like sober) causing him to be pissed at me for awhile.
    Let my friend pepper spray me to prove I could handle it.
    Jumped in an icy pool.
     
  6. Alien Sex Fiend

    Alien Sex Fiend Silver Member

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    Could you handle it? I was under impression people need to be on PCP to handle that. Alcohol won't do
     
  7. lkt004

    lkt004 Silver Member

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    I worked in a very bad area of the city i used to live in a doorman/security guard and i've seen many people stay fighting and standing after being peppersprayed, and a few times after being tased.

    Some interesting stories from that experience, being 107kg (237lb) @ 5'8" was certainly a benefit.
     
  8. detoxin momma

    detoxin momma Just A Brick In The Wall Silver Member Donating Member

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    the worst thing ive ever done drunk was back hand my husband right across the nose.
    with every ounce of strength i had.

    then i ran and hid in the closet because i thought for sure he'd come after me.

    nope.passed out right where he sat.

    ive never been a bad drunk.never done anything scandalous or sexual that i regret from being drunk.
    just hittin my husband.

    in fact,the time this happened was the last time ive been drunk.it was almost 2 years ago.
     
  9. Alien Sex Fiend

    Alien Sex Fiend Silver Member

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    I ended up in ER because I in drunken stupor punched a mirror Heroin Bob style (seriously google it) and they didn't freeze my hand because I was told that i have enough drugs in my system. You could see white bones bare where my knuckles should be. While receiving 60 stitches I was saying F*ck so loudly and so often the security came to hold me down and Doc injected me with 2mg of Midazolam. I woke up 6 hours later broken hangover in a straitjacket tied to a bed having thrown up all over myself :( They love to have me in that particular ER after a dozen visits
     
  10. detoxin momma

    detoxin momma Just A Brick In The Wall Silver Member Donating Member

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    youre right ASF,the memories kinda keep popping up here and there...im sure ive done some funny shit.

    when i was a teenager is when i was really hittin the alcohol.couldnt go to school because i'd stay up drinking all night...

    putting a lit cigarette behind my ear used to be my "tell"...i'm done,lol....

    but for the sake of funny drunk stories,i did have this memory.....


    about 6 years ago,i had just moved into this neighborhood.its alot more country than where'd i'd previously been living.

    i immediately felt connected with this one chic down the road.a little older than me,platinum blonde hair to her ass,petite little ball of fire.coors light always in hand.
    her and husband live on 7 acres,they have 2 horses.

    they had just given one horse to a friend that wanted one for their kid.they really dont ride much anymore,and figured the kid would give it some TLC,so why not....

    during one fun bonfire night,we were riding 4wheelers threw the pasture,mudding,doing all the fun redneck shit.
    then she starts saying she wants to go kidnap the horse, because she saw it, and they're not taking care of it.
    as kid rocks bawatabaw song is playing.
    she kept saying this song was getting her all amped up to go do this heist.

    so we rode over on the 4wheeler,threw woods,at 1 am.
    she hopped the fence,got on the horse,bareback!
    and i went to open the gate.

    i rode the 4wheeler as she followed right behind me on the horse,threw woods,about 130 am.
    shit faced drunk.

    as we got back to the bonfire,we hadnt even told anyone what we were planning,everyone saw her walking up on that horse and fell to the ground laughing...both our husbands included.

    she still has that horse to this day.and noone ever said a word about it!

    now i don't care who you are,thats some funny shit.
     
  11. EuphoricPigeon

    EuphoricPigeon Silver Member

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    Grabbed my friend's mom's tits. She forgave me and understood I wa really drunk at the time. Don't even remember doing it, though lol.
     
  12. Alien Sex Fiend

    Alien Sex Fiend Silver Member

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    lol funny story

    once drunk i put a joint the lit end in my mouth, only once. had a huge blister
     
  13. redwhiteandblue

    redwhiteandblue Silver Member

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    I done my driving test after being up all night on the booze.

    Fuck knows how the examiner never noticed!!

    I don't know if I regret it.... because I passed!!!!

    So, technically, I shouldn't be allowed to drive unless I'm drunk lol.


    Right proper regrets - Stole a car and crashed it into a tree at 100mph - well, that was the speed it said on the speedometer when I noticed that I should slow down, I seriously doubt that I was doing 100mph when it hit the tree.

    Stole another car to get home after no one would give me a lift after crashing the first car.

    Cheated on my Girlfriend with her best mate.

    Knocked a guy out for no reason, well there was a little reason - I thought he was someone else.

    Stole a Policeman's hat, jacket, breathalyser and shouted over the radio "Fuck the Police" (They had left the door open on their car)

    Took my first ever line of Heroin.

    Kicked my brother in the face because he wouldn't give me a draw of his joint.

    Done a shit on a seat in a pub, just for a laugh. (Wasn't very funny)

    Fuck, I could write loads on here.

    All of this, except taking Heroin happened when I was a teenager. I have grown up a lot since then and can now go for a drink without getting into any bother at all. It's been a long time since I have done anything that I regret whilst drunk. I can drink quite responsibly now, mainly because it only takes me about 3 pints to get drunk these days. I used to drink at least 3 bottles of Buckfast each day. That's a "Tonic wine" made by Monks. 15% - 750ml bottle. I think that works out at around 11.4 Units per bottle if my Maths is correct?
     
  14. renacer

    renacer Silver Member

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    No, I freaked out badly. Then I tried taking a shower to get it off and it made it worse. It discovered by accident walking in front of a fan that wind made it better, then I punched my friend after he was like "yeah, forgot to mention that earlier."
     
  15. startinnuttin

    startinnuttin Silver Member

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    ASF, does this mean there's a Mrs. ASF roaming around out there somewhere? Lucky lady! :p
     
  16. Alien Sex Fiend

    Alien Sex Fiend Silver Member

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    How did i miss that?
    Im divorced.
     
  17. Budgetadvisoryservice

    Budgetadvisoryservice Blue Water Scum Silver Member Donating Member

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    Tried to see how many sign posts I could take out on one corner in a four wheel drift in my van.

    Gone to bed with a woman.

    Gone to bed with a man.

    Woken up with a woman whom I went to bed with. I never woke up with a man I went to bed with, but I'm sure I would have regretted that too.

    Got in a knife fight with someone more sober than me. He was also a more credible witness and I served 6 months of a one year sentence.

    Tried to start a riot by kicking the lights off the top of a police car.

    Posted on DF.
     
  18. Nosferatus

    Nosferatus Silver Member

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    -Turned arm wrestling match into actual wrestling match while drinking with a bunch of people who didn't speak the same language as me.

    -Told spurious stories, said all the things I wanted to say but didn't, then asked some people if they wanted to come to a bathhouse at my work Christmas party.

    -Stumbled out to procure more party supplies just as the sun was coming
    up, sat in the basement bathroom hoovering same off toilet lid as I could hear family waking up and walking around upstairs, waited til they left to go up to my bedroom.
     
  19. downers89

    downers89 Silver Member

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    Last shameful and funny thing:
    I hit on the doorman after having a full bottle of rum... I see him every other day and I totally remember it but I pretend I don't.
     
  20. jalopez

    jalopez Silver Member

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    had sex with a guy i wanted a relationship with.