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Addiction - Thoughts on ex-heroin IV user moving to IV cocaine

Discussion in 'Heroin' started by suninmy_MOUTH, Oct 9, 2006.

  1. suninmy_MOUTH

    suninmy_MOUTH Newbie

    Reputation Points:
    Sep 28, 2006
    from U.S.A.
    SWIM might have made a big mistake lately. SWIM almost forgot that back when he was an H addict... part of what he loved was the whole process leading up to the shot. Probably influenced by films like Trainspotting and Pulp Fiction (funny how most who saw those flicks were then repulsed by heroin... but they just romaticized the wanting to try it for My friends and I) but one of SWIM favorite things was to see the thick, dark, slow-moving blood tumble back into the plunger. Even when SWIM ran out of money or sources were dry, he might just cook up some water just to see it. Seem to relieve the withrdrawal symptoms for a little bit too.

    The thing for someone like this, who not only was not afraid needles, like a lot of people are, he fetished them. However, with heroin, no matter how big my habit was, he could take that shot, and be good for at least 6 hours... but usually 12, and sometimes 24.

    SWIM cleaned up about 6 years ago, basically from everything except drinking once and while. I have mentioned his story in full elsewhere, but IV'ing coke... with the possibity of shooting up 20x in matter of hours... not good. SWIM might really be after the process that he loved as a heroin addict, well, he knows its true, b/c he wasn't thinking about the craving for coke the next day after IV'ing coke for the first time, he thoughts were of that blood drippiing back into the tube. Whenever that image pops into my mind... he just wants to do it so badly. The only upside to the whole thing was that I felt pretty good the next day after doing his inital shots. Much better than doing a lot of lines, and certainly better than how heroin can totally, how to say it.... once you are on it, you are on it all the time.. until you get through wtihdrawl. I felt normal in the head the next day and even got some good work done.

    Yet with quicker recovery, comes the readiness to buy some more and do it all over again. Good thing there is a holiday tomorrow, as SWIM loaded up again. Just 1 gram. Knowing that he will do it all, and since the contact is not gonna deliver 2x in one day. 1 gram and that will be that. I am just going to have to take a step back... like he did with H, and make an honest effort to quit. Obviously, heroin mainliners will find no solace switching to cocaine.

    Oh well, at least nothing too bad happened... as they say, most addicts can't stop till they hit rock-bottom. But being an ex-addict, I know that might not be too far off... wish SWIM well to stay strong.
  2. Nicaine

    Nicaine Titanium Member

    Reputation Points:
    Jul 12, 2004
    from Rhode Island, U.S.A.
    Stay strong... if IV'ing becomes too much of a temptation for you, he should cook up some rocks & smoke instead. It's definitely better than the needle. But better yet, quit. If he's gonna do it though, that means no coke... don't even snort.
  3. Alicia

    Alicia Gold Member

    Reputation Points:
    Jan 12, 2005
    from earth
    Swia found injection of cocaine to be really nice but incredibly short lived experience alas also very easy to overdose on as-well due to purity vearie considerably from one batch to another. Swia herself felt extremely com-pulsed to do another syringe-ful right after more so then heroin be careful.
  4. monkeygone2heaven

    monkeygone2heaven Titanium Member

    Reputation Points:
    Oct 19, 2006
    from U.S.A.
    it's a well-established scientific finding that (even without swiy's possible specific fetish about the whole thing), the whole experience/context, is part of the drug addiction and drug-taking experience. the "rituals" become coupled in the brain with the drug and over time they becme inseparable. like even mice prefer the colors or objects they associate with cocaine or morphine administration and they can tirgger cravings. and You might have complicating factors on top like an attraction to injecting in the first place.

    I think a realization is important. what does You want? it's beyond awesome You has been clean of h for so long. so You knows they can do pretty much anything at this point. if the act of injection is too compelling and You wants to stay clean off drugs, maybe You can stay off injecting - willpower and all, maybe getting help. also important to realise these "cues" can trick us closer to the drugs insidiously. I am not being holier-than-thou, just saying You can be more aware and have a choice. given the investment it takes to stay off h, as You mentioned, it's probably worth staying there.
  5. betsym

    betsym Newbie

    Reputation Points:
    Jun 4, 2004
    I have friends who have injected coke periodically and some who do it all the time. Swim herself knows that the ritual is a part of the whole experience, and swim's friends say that sometimes a craving can be satisfied by simply going through the ritual without the coke, or whatever other substance is being used. What this means is that You would instead inject sterile water. While this would not have any chemical effects it would help with the craving of the ritual part. Injecting is not something that is safe to do but swim's friends say that injecting sterile water is much safer than injecting coke or a lot of other things. Coke is psychologically addicting and the more associations made with the "tools" (rigs, alcohol preps, ect.), the more there is desire to do it. Swim's friends say that they are sometimes overcome with the intense desire just to shoot something, even if it isn't their drug. However, once they have given in to the desire to inject, and actually use some sterile water, this intense desire is somewhat satisfied, almost as if they had actually injected the drug. I do not entirely agree with her friends on this subject. Injecting is not without it's dangers, but then again, neither are drugs, and it's worse to inject drugs than it is something as harmless as sterilized water. So I would say if you just HAVE to inject, then do it the safest way possible. So far, swim's friends have not suffered from this method and it has not led them back into injecting drugs. Be safe and know that there are others for whom this is a concern. I have seen her friends almost foam at the mouth just at the sight of a syringe and they will start fiending to have it in their hand. They start imagining the feel of the needle going into their arm and then the desire intensifies. This is usually when I will try and distract them and take their mind away from the needle. The method of drug use is certainly tied to the drug and it is certainly possible for the method itself to overide the drug in some cases, as it has with some of swim's friends. Some people will not even admit to having a problem like this and may not have friends or others whom they think would understand.
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2006
  6. IVallDay

    IVallDay Silver Member

    Reputation Points:
    Sep 10, 2016
    from U.S.A.
    This is an old ass thread but, I think I know what this is like. I Used to be an IV Heroin addict..out of control, had money from a lawsuit and spent about $300,000 over a period of 5 years on Heroin and cocaine. But the last year alone I spent $250,000. Mostly on my own-I shared with pretty much everyone. I had the money and I liked to party and who doesn't love it when people like you a bunch?? (Yes I know I was being used, I was using them too as my friends that would do things for me they wouldn't others as long as I kept them high.) so I had a handful of junkie buddies high and kept them "well" and that's every H addicts goal!

    Anyways to comment on the topic of H addicts getting off it and becoming IV coke fiends - sounds like me exactly. I was at first a druggie, lines of white, meth pipes, E, anything but Heroin or pcp was okay with me. Those two were giant No Nos cuz I know myself and I know I would LOVE IVING everything - especially H and white girl. And I started shooting girl (cocaine) and did so much of it the H addicts would tell me to back off I'm abusing it. Like DUH.

    So I finally tried Heroin - loved everything about it. The whole preparation was the best part almost. The drug in the bag on the spoon or cooker with water on it, then cooked and mixed and drawing it up-then the anticipation of what's gonna happen next. Then the poke after you find a vein and then BAM the blood beautifully entertaining the rig and you know it's gonna be good... Plunge that fucker all the way in and hope it is enough for a good rush. And oh man it was good and you're nodding out already oh mannnn...

    All of that happens with IV cocaine too. The prep, anticipation the poke then BLOOD YAY BAMMMM and then you taste it and it tastes so bad you puke if it's super good but man it's a good puke! And you're ears start ringing when it was a really good one... and you should never try to do it...I do NOT recommend this but I love it... I call it borderlining. Borderline OD. Not like "oh man that was too close I thought I was dead!" But when you start getting flushed and your hearing and vision is weird and maybe you even start shaking your head back and forth (the shaking your head part is not a good feeling and that part is not on purpose, that's when a borderline or ANY shot is misjudged.

    All of my shots get weighed on a scale before anything happens to it. I've learned my limits. I know what's too little and how much is enough, how much is almost too much and where the line stops because I'm not sure if I would be successful a surviving or die. I've liked to push it for a while, the thought of "man this might be so wild I can't do anything without thinking I'm part of the air and earth... sometimes I swear I can SEE atoms.... but like I suggested, I do not recommend trying to do almost too much DONT DO IT!

    I'm super tired of being a junky though. Sick of living with no absolute certainty of what may be if I don't stop... I quit Heroin but then I went back to IV coke... relapse is almost inevitable the way I am with no boundaries...

    I realize I could be a statistic of drug addiction....someone's tattoo in memory...
    I'm sticking myself in the hospital after I come down and sleep. Treatment 10737 times has bettered me but I can't learn anymore. But if I cannot have access to drugs...I'm safe from well, me.

    I got a couple more shots and then I'm gonna go to emergency and proclaim suicidal addict. That will buy me at least a week and I can find "sober activities" ugh.

    Heres my next BAMMM until then...

    Good luck to you and I hope you do well in recovery.