k i am new to this, i came here because you really don't know where else to go to discuss these type of things, all my friends are clean now and believe i am also, i am a good hider as well as lier to my friends, family and myself. I started cocaine around the age of 14, been through everything else A-Z cocaine always stuck, then as time wore on you get bored with the regular cocaine high so the next choices are shooting or the pipe, i chose the pipe, that was over 10 years ago, i believe i am not what you would consider a bonafide crack addict, i don't look the part i guess you could say, i look at people strung out in my hod and you can spot their monkey a mile away.* My question is how do i stop, yeah sure just don't pick up the pipe, eaiser said then done. i have hit rock bottom on this shit, lost everything, still struggle with my inner self, spending the electric bill money or the food money and so on, in fact as i type this topic i am getting high right now. Sick of hiding when the door knocks or the phone rings because geezee is hunting me down for the 4 i got on credit 3 days ago. I don't want rehab tried it to me it was a bunch of bull everyone going to bare their soul swearing no more then 9:15pm rolls around and there they go on the corner to get 2 just for the hell of it been there. excuses excuses excuses what is it going to take to make me realize no more help has anyone out there felt like this? can anyone relate? can anyone give me the insight i need?