Abraxas Methadone PAWS journal

I made a big mistake in my opioids and methadone detox. I had some mild synthoms about focus and mental strenght, and I need recover myself because I need a job now. I haven´t money now, I am exactly at 0 euros, and I need my parents for eat. For get a job, I need train and study for interviews, i need focus, i need more discipline and i need more mental strenght, so I decided take some Kratom to check if I can improve temporaly and get a Job. It offers me all, and It helps me temporlally...

Excuse me in advance for the darkness style of this message. I felt very bad this lasts weeks really. You now, winter, bad weather and isolation. I don´t feel sympthoms of PAWS anymore. I only feel lazy for make some activities, specially intelectually, and I am experimenting the life without opiates. This sounds good, but is not. I was fighting hard with withdrawal and PAWS, and I had the expectative of a "life vision changuing". A new life. But I feel life like and "obligation". Now I...

I am starting feeling good. I forever suffered anxiety and ADHD, before doing any kind of drug, so all my thoughts and my life was based on fear and disorder, . I was living in an eternal concern. An amazing mountain of fear, bad thoughts, dark feelings, and chaos. Next, I discovered drugs, and I started doing every drug for feeling better. Mental health forever was a taboo in my familly, so everybody said to me that it was normal feeling bad every time. Its the first time in my life that...

I want write my first entry. These nights i am starting sleeping so good. Around 7 hours deeply. My mood is stable. No feelings yet, but I don´t feel bad. The most productive time in my life was on methadone treatment, so its hard for me quit methadone. I would like recover my passion for djing, create music and programming. It seems it returns slowly. This is a thread with my detox history....