Suffer from bipolar and depression. Have used drugs my entire life to regulate mood. When I found opiates, I discovered that they gave me energy, allowed me to think clearly and logically, gave me motivation, helped me to deal with my psychotic family, basically turned me into Superwoman that can handle anything and everything thrown my way. I become a better version of myself. I become more helpful, more willing to do things I just wouldn't have the motivation for when sober. I don't feel tired or drugged really when I use them, although the high is nice (when it's there).
I don't like the way pot feels, alcohol turns me into a suicidal bitch. Been on opiates (1st hydrocodone, then oxycodone, then fentanyl, which I had my last of yesterday. Can't afford it anymore. Am trying Adderol rn at this very moment as I was told that is probably what I am seeking, but it's not making me feel like opiates do and I have done 20 mgs, 5 pills up nose throughout the night to no avail. Add doesn't come around too often so even if I liked it it can't be a full-time alternative for me.